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Scale says

I'm trying hard not to let the scale get me down. I'm already planning to use the no-weigh card yet again. The last time was a month ago, but it still hurts. This would be the 3rd time to use the damn thing. I just wish I had used a little self-control at that stupid work dinner.

I always focus on the negative. This is a big problem for me.

A few days ago Steffanie commented on here and reminded me to be happy about how far I've come. And she is right. I've come a really really long way. When I read other people's blogs and I read what they've lost and how many sizes they've dropped, I'm always impressed. I seem to be more impressed with other people's success than my own.

A few weeks ago I was discussing this last 10 kilos with a close friend, we'll call her Sam . She recently introduced me to one of her other close friends and I must have brought up my diet with her when I saw her. Apparently when she last saw Sam she asked her if I had lost a lot of weight and Sam told her that I had. She told Sam that she would need to see a picture because if she hadn't known she would have never thought I had a weight problem.

I really should have taken that for what it was, a compliment. New people I meet don't know the ms ralph that I was, yet I emotionally carry the weight around with me everywhere I go. I can't seem to let it go. I touch my belly at night when I'm lying in bed to feel how small it is, yet it doesn't sink in. This last 10 kilos is the only thing that stands in my way of being at my healthy weight and when I reach it I don't want the fat me standing there looking in the mirror.

This battle with food may never truly be over for me. I know that my food addiction, unmanaged will spiral out of control again. It is a good thing that I've realized that this fight is a life-long thing and I am willing to fight it, but sometimes the emotional demons really are too much to handle.

I did pretty well yesterday with my pre-Thanksgiving dinner. My mum-in-law didn't like the cornbread dressing, but I really wasn't surprised. They don't eat anything like that over here. I enjoyed every morsel. Mr ralph liked it as well and probably ate too much of it, but I'm grateful in a way that he did because there weren't any leftovers! Halving the recipe was the right thing to do.

The only thing I have left over is turkey breast and some creamcheese pie. Both of those I think I can handle. The turkey just may be dinner tonight if I can keep mr ralph away from it during the day.

The heat has set in and it is going to be boiling again today. I'm going to try to get my exercise out of the way early in the day because walking to the gym at 5:30 is just not an option. So at 9 I will head off to the gym for aqua-robics and hopefully do 2 /30 minute classes.

The old me would let the scale get me so down that I wouldn't bother working out because I wouldn't see the point. I mean, I have 2 days before weigh-in and I don't really know if the exercise will help in the short-run, but I know it will in the long-run. Exercise has to be a part of my life. And that ladies and gentlemen is progress in the right direction.

Oh and a question if you know, could you tell me if sore muscles make you weigh more? I heard that a long time ago and never really found out if it is true. Toodle-loo.

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