livingforrecovery

I didn't do as well on Tuesday as Wednesday with my eating, but it is because we went to a lodge dinner last night. I did well and choose the Barramundi, although it was served with hollandaise sauce! It was delish! Oh it was so yummy. The major downfall of my eating was having wine. I had no willpower at all when it came to the alcohol. Sparkpeople says I should eat between 1200 and 1550 calories a day and yesterday I stayed just under that. I also walked for over an hour. I still feel like I should be doing more.

I went walking today.. and as I approached the McDonalds I thought about going in and just getting an ice-cream cone. I had not eaten yet and was starving, but I knew if I went in I would probably buy something else like a hamburger or frenchfries. I didn't do it. I resisted and kept walking. It was actually very hard to do, but I did it.

When you aren't feeling very happy with your body, the last thing you should do is go try on clothes. Does anyone else who lives in Australia find it amazing how jeans are all sized differently? In one brand/style a size 12 is loose and fits nice, in another the size 14 is too tight. So frustrating! But let us get to the good news. The report for yesterday is good. I did well for the first day, but could have exercised more. I ate 4651 KJ/1105 calories. As for exercise I walked for around 30 minutes. I should have done more. I was going to walk home from the city, but decided it was too dark and cold. During the day it was beautiful though. I am thinking pretty seriously about walking right after I finish this entry. On the writing front, I think I have a few ideas flowing. I think I will just write and worry about the details later, it seems better that way. And for those of you interested in my subject matter, it is actually going to be a novel based on bits and piec

What is the difference between an AU10 and an AU12? -Desire -Time -Effort -Commitment -Exercise -around 5 kilos give or take... That list could go on and on, but what I really want to say this: I am sick of not being able to wear my size 10 clothes! I knew this was going to happen to me. When I hovered around 67 kilos and was wearing a lot of size 10 clothes. I got burnt out. I was sick of it all. I couldn't reach 63 kilos and I literally gave up. Now I don't know how much I weigh, my guess is around 70-73. Thankfully I wear size 12 very comfortably and don't need to buy new clothes... But I want to be where I was again. I liked being thinner, I felt better. The last few months I have been in serious denial. I avoid the clothes I know I can't wear in my closet (wardrobe) and I tell myself that I am still beautiful. I'm not anywhere near as fat as I was when I moved here. Last night I ate a seafood basket when we were out. We all know what that is right?

Last night I ate Singapore noodles and fried rice from my favorite Asian place. Mr. ralph and I have been so broke for the last couple of months that spending $35 on take-away is a luxury. So we did it last night. I shouldn't have eaten the whole serve, but I did. My tummy ached from the fullness. The plan was that this weekend things will be different. I will exercise, and I will eat healthy. So this morning after being woke up by the Big Cat, Buckley twice I got my butt out of bed, put on my walking gear and hit the street. It was a cold, wet morning. I really did not want to be walking. The first 10 minutes were the hardest. Along the way I did stop a few times to look at the Salvos shop and have a coffee. Walking down the main road I went past so many temptations: a bakery, where I could smell the bread baking; McDonald's where I could smell the hashbrowns being fried in canola oil; and finally the last one, a cafe, where I stopped and ate and had my coffee. Why

I wish I could tell you guys that everything is on track and that the reason I have not been writing is because life has just been too good. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Winter is generally a crap time of year for me. I thought that this one I could get a handle on it and not have it get the best of me. I was wrong. Exercise? Who me? Eat healthy? Um no. Last night I wanted chips so mr. ralph went out at midnight and got us chips and dip and we sat in our pj's watching the England and Portugal quarter final stuffing our faces. Am I painting a pretty picture? For the most part I eat well. I do. I do not stock my house with these kinds of foods. I have learned that because I am an emotional eater, it is better if I don't. But mr. ralph is too easy. Where I won't go out and buy something at midnight, if I ask him too he will go for me. Yes, I do believe we are in a co-dependent relationship, even where food is concerned. We both eat when we feel emotional.