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Mmmm...Forbidden donut

This no-carb thing totally backfired yesterday. I didn't tell the mum-in-law early enough that I won't be eating potatoes, carrots, peas, or corn (all staples at Sunday dinner) and I ended up eating 2 cauliflower florlets, some salad, a small bit of cheese, and turkey.

It wasn't very filling.

But that wasn't the worst of it. I actually had a full blown need [read need, not just CRAVING] for chocolate, and snagged a snickers bar from the pantry and ate it secretly as I was about to take my spa bath.

I ate it so quickly that I almost didn't taste it. After I had finished it and was soaking in the tub I then had to examine my behaviour, because I know that I am not doing so well when I feel the need to eat in secret. Damn that awareness thing I've got going on! Why couldn't I just feel bad about it and beat myself up?

Anyway I came to the conclusion that I actually may have needed sugar. Since I am cutting out all carbs and foods that contain any sugar, be it natural or not, my body could have been telling me that I actually needed some.

The eating in secret bit? Well, that is always a worry. It is hard to openly eat a chocolate bar when you just quite publicly swore off all carbs at dinner and the mum-in-law felt bad for not having enough non-carb foods to serve you.

I did confess to eating it to mr. ralph later which made me feel better.

You know what he said? "Did you look like this?" [as he kneeled down on the floor and pretending to be hiding as he did scarfing motions], "Like when Johnny Sac (see Sopranos NY Mobster) found his wife sneaking chocolate in the basement while doing laundry?" Thanks honey, you know just how to cheer me up. heh.

I'm sucking ass in the exercise department too. I really need to get motivated about exercise because I go through bouts of full commitment to no commitment at all. I wish I could be consistent with it.

I cannot believe how close I am to my goal. I'm hoping that next week I'll be in the 60's (maybe 69 kilos at least) and that is unbelievable. It is so fantastic. I'm loving it. But as honestyrain said, I do need to come up with a plan for what I will focus all this time and energy on once I've reached my goal. I also cannot let myself slip back into bad habits like I've been known to do when losing in the past, although I've never lost this much before in my life. I know I probably weighed this much when I was around 18, but back then I thought this was huge.

I just looked at Kimba's new pictures she posted and have to say she looks so HOT! Way to go girl.

Also, can you believe this fat auction thing on ebay? You have to read Scale Ho's post, and then Erin's post at Lose the Budah.

One last thing, has anyone ever actually won 100 credits when surfing on BE?

Comments

Anonymous said…
do you know what? That self sabotage behaviour is the ONLY thing that I am scared of on this journey. That hide in a cupboard and scoff because you need to feel naughty about it. And it NEVER tastes good because you do eat it so fast that you don't taste it. But you told your boy and that means that you have come a long way! AND you didn't eat the whole packet!!!!! I read in the book "clothesline diet" that she dipped the tiniest bit of a licked finger into a sugar bowl to keep her sugar cravings at bay and that it worked a treat. I am going to try that from now on. Just a suggestion. Well done on the weigh in too! so close!
i gobbled some nacho flavored rice cakes in secret in the basement earlier. i was a like a guy who had been starving in the woods for weeks on end. it was sad. remember, i am trying to cut my carbs back to retrain my body into eating a healthier amount of them.

damn, i just went and had a few more.

oh lordy lordy.

it's no big deal. carry on as before.
Crayonsetc said…
Oh, you can't cut out ALL.. you need to have a few carbs. Don't kick yourself for the snickers... just count it and move on!! You can do this!! (I have a friend doing the Curves diet... and she gets between 20-60 carbs a day)
Denise said…
What's a Snicker's bar, maybe 400-500 calories? It takes a lot more than that to gain even a single pound, so the only thing I'd worry about is that you felt the need to sneak it. Sometimes, a candy bar is just a candy bar and if you think about it that way, it takes away the "forbidden/evil" thing. Besides, chocolate tastes way too good for us not to be meant to eat it ever!!!
AliRose said…
I have a really odd thing to ask you! I just started to read your blog today. (Congratulations by the way, you look absolutely beautiful!) Anyways, I was looking at your pictures and I absolutely adore that green shirt you wore on Christmas Eve! Am I completely crazy for commenting here to see if there's any way you could tell me where I could get me one of those? If you could let me know where you got it, I would be forever grateful! You can comment on my site at

www.agracefuldisaster.blogspot.com

Thanks hon!

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