Skip to main content

I could just kick myself

So yesterday I kept staring in the mirror at my hair and thought if I could just lighten it one more shade it would look right and mr. ralph would like it too. So I did the stupidest thing in the world. I bought another bleach from the store and completely forgot that since the last thing I did was colour it ash blonde, all the bleach would do is strip the ash blonde off the top of my ugly, pineapple yellow hair.

And that is what happened. It looked worse than it was before. I should have just listened to all of you, and my inner voice to leave well enough alone, but in desperation to fix it all I coloured my hair an auburn/brownish color last night. It looks good. I've had this color a million times, and of course mr. ralph said, "Now you look more like ms. ralph". And a part of me knew exactly what he was saying, because although I liked the look of blonde, every time I saw myself in the mirror I wasn't comfortable with my reflection.

I don't think I'm ready for it. I kept thinking about all the attention it was going to get at work and I was afraid.

Delving deeper this is a lot of the reason why I stayed fat for so long. Being thin brings attention I don't want.

It is a good thing the hair is short because it will probably fall out soon.

So I'm not cut out to be blonde, at least not this time. Next time I consider it I will make sure I am willing to spend the money at the salon.

But trust me, although it is undocumented, the Frenchie (from Grease) look is not for me. I looked silly.

We went for a hike yesterday up Waterfall Gully. Later on today maybe I can put up some gorgeous outdoor pics. But I went in shorts and the pictures of me are quite disturbing. I feel like such a fat pig in shorts because of my problem areas. I shudder to look at them.

I feel like I look amazing in pants and longer skirts, but shorts are definitely not attractive on me, especially not the ones I was wearing yesterday. I don't think I'll share those pictures.

The hike was hard and it felt really good to be moving and sweating. We had to stop several times to slow our hearts and catch our breaths, but I loved it. I think I'm off to a good start on the week except the eating could have been better yesterday. We finally received a package in the mail from my brother that he sent over a month ago and inside it he had my favorite chips and some cookies mr. ralph likes. I ate a handful of each, but that alone was too much for the day.

It was a good thing we hiked.

Comments

Anonymous said…
i thought your hair looked nice blond. in the pics you posted.

why are you so hard on yourself Rebeka?
Anonymous said…
Hello - Michele sent me.

I just hate hair disasters! I will be back by to say hello and hopefully you have fully recovered and the last colour sounds really nice.
CAD Monkey said…
Shorts are the Devil. The Devil!!
Robin said…
I hate to say this after the fact... but I really loved the blonde! Then again, you have that great smile, and your hair comes in second anyhow...

My hubby likes black hair, and luckily I have black hair... but in the day before the hubby it was every color BUT natural. I do miss playing with color, but I don't want hubby to have a heart attack. I completely understand keeping the Mr. happy...
Kathryn said…
I know what you mean about the blonde hair drawing attention. I have been blonde a few times and it is amazing how much attention the change in hair colour gets. If it is going to make you uncomfortable or self conscious then it isn't worth it.
Argy said…
Good on ya for the hike. And I too think you are a bit too hard on yourself. You look so good, it amazes me that you think the opposite. And I want to see the new hair too!

Popular posts from this blog

A trip down memory lane

Hello to all of you all of you coming via Michele , thanks for stopping by and I only hope it was worth the trip over. I began reading through the questions on the Slimmer of The Year application today. Of course there are so many things I want to include, but I can't possibly write everything I want to or they will be getting a novel. When I started thinking of how long I have been overweight and the reasons I struggled for so long with food and weight issues a lot of memories came back to me. I've been challanged by my weight for most of my life. Granted some of that time I only thought I was fat when I really wasn't. The point is that I have been fat inside my head for as long as I can remember. One of the most shameful and embarrassing moments was when I was 15 and some of the boys in my class thought it was funny to sing "thunder, thunder, thunder thighs hooooooo!" when they saw me coming to the tune of the cartoon "Thunder Cats." That experie...

Life happens

I wish I could tell you guys that everything is on track and that the reason I have not been writing is because life has just been too good. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Winter is generally a crap time of year for me. I thought that this one I could get a handle on it and not have it get the best of me. I was wrong. Exercise? Who me? Eat healthy? Um no. Last night I wanted chips so mr. ralph went out at midnight and got us chips and dip and we sat in our pj's watching the England and Portugal quarter final stuffing our faces. Am I painting a pretty picture? For the most part I eat well. I do. I do not stock my house with these kinds of foods. I have learned that because I am an emotional eater, it is better if I don't. But mr. ralph is too easy. Where I won't go out and buy something at midnight, if I ask him too he will go for me. Yes, I do believe we are in a co-dependent relationship, even where food is concerned. We both eat when we feel emotional....

Unbelievable results

You may have noticed that I changed the 70 to the left to 71. I don't know how it happened, but I actually gained weight this week. What is happening to me? I don't know what is going on, but the scale did say 71 two days in a row. Yes, I am at the end of my TOM and that could contribute to some of it, but a whole kilo? I looked at my calorie count from this week and I went over 1500 only 2 days, Friday and Saturday. Although I did much better this weekend than last, I still struggled with eating more on my off days than during the week. Another reason I had a horrific week was the heat. We had 4 days of over 40C in a row. Now that is just wrong. I can't handle heat very well. I did go for a walk on Saturday and when I came home thought I was going to die from heat exhaustion. Not good at all. I almost declared this week a no-weigh week due to my TOM but have decided to take it as it comes. So I weigh 71 today. Excuse my language but that number really scares the ...