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In a funk

If you could see me right now, you'd see the cloud above my head. It is gorgeous and sunny everywhere else, but raining on me.

I have/had one more entry I needed to do to finish off the trip, but I was getting tired of writing about it, and I think you're probably getting tired of hearing about it. You read about one entry about our trip and you've pretty much read it all. I know your comments are sweet and kind, but I think tackling one entry per day of the trip was a little bit much.

At the moment I'm not feeling so great.

For one thing my weight is up and this time there is no mistake. I knew that this was going to be in the cards when I went away and drank and ate up big time, but I somehow held onto hope that I could get it all under control and at least maintain my weight by tomorrow's weigh-in.

If today's weight is any indication, I will have a gain of about 6-800 grams. This is okay of course. It is not the end of the world. I can take that right back off in one week's time, and I'm sure I will. But inside my head it is a defeat, and I hate feeling defeated.

Plus although I've been trying to keep my daily points under 15 since returning from my trip, I've not been very successful. I've been very hungry and yesterday ate bread for lunch and dinner. That is such a rarity for me these days that is is sure indication that my body, or my mind thinks it is missing some nutrients.

Also, work is driving me absolutely nuts.

Yesterday I noticed on my payslip that for some mysterious reason, payroll decided to deduct around $300 from my pay without any indication as to why. So I called them and the guy told me after fumbling around that he thinks that there is some mix up between HR and the insurance company that is paying my work-cover and that it seems that I now owe the company money. Plus he was under the impression from a letter he received that I was only working 18 hours (when I have been full time for this entire month).

As I picked my jaw up off the floor I knew I couldn't just work without getting it sorted so I spoke to HR, I spoke to my team leader, and I spoke to the insurance company. Finally we all figured out the problem is that the insurance company has an incorrect rate of pay for me from when my company had been paying me at an incorrect rate last year. Even though I took steps to try to fix this, nothing was ever done and now that it is affecting them (ie the insurance company will not pay more than the rate they have on file) they need to do something about it.

It is not even my problem, but what really angers me is the fact that this guy just decided to deduct money from my pay without even alerting me. He didn't even say he made a mistake or that he was sorry. But he is putting the money in my bank account today thankfully. But sometimes the utter incompetence of people really galls me. What if I hadn't openned my pay slip and just assumed all was good??

After that little mishap I then had a small email run in with one of the team leaders that I dislike. She tried to be coy and patronize me in her email, but she only ended up looking stupid (at least to me) because I know she doesn't know what the hell she is talking about when she tries to pretend to know more than me about my job. She is a team leader who couldn't take a call if her life depended on it. What a dumbass. And how these people end up in leadership I have no idea. I've never worked for a company who had so many idiots in management before in my life.

I'm beginning to wonder if it is getting close to that time of the month for me, because every little thing is seriously pissing me off.

I'm sorry if today you came here for motivation, because I'm running on empty people. I'm totally useless today.

Comments

Anonymous said…
awww. sweetie. we all have bad days and it's totally okay to just feel like shit. i hope you feel beter tomorrow. big huggie hugs!
Argy said…
I come here for motivation and this is what I found today as well. Because it really motivates me to know that a woman who has lost such a massive amount of weight has low days too. That gives me hope to believe that besides MY low days, I will get there some day too! And being a few kilos from goal is like a dream to me!!!!

*smoooooootch* cos you're just so sweetly honest!
Robin said…
Why do you think I'm the "funky" bug? Good days, bad days... no one said life owed us lemonade, did they? It's cool if you want to suck on a lemon, lime, whatever... just try not to beat yourself up. You can rant, you can get angry, you can feel pissy... but don't let those emotions convince you that you're defeated. You're my hero, honey. Chin (only one now, you know) up!
Denise said…
Yikes, I never even look at what my paycheck is (it's directly deposited, so no paper here) - perhaps I ought to check it today? I know you'll get that little bit of vacation weight right back off again and you've inspired me today, so there! :-)

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