Skip to main content

Luck running out?

I am seriously starting to think that my luck is running low with the consecutive weight losses. I weighed myself yesterday and today and I am up 600 grams. My weight didn't fluctuate from yesterday morning to today. I know I still have 3 days in which to take that off, but something tells me I probably shouldn't get my hopes up.

The thing is, if this week I don't lose, or I actually gain (I am trying to prepare myself for that possibility) I won't completely freak out.

These things happen. I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I actually fear it.

I have to deal with my fear of reaching my goal. It is a bit strange to fear something I have wanted for so long, but in the same instance very normal.

I know that when the scale hits 63 kilos I will not be magically cured of my love of food, or suddenly be a different person. But somehow even though I know these things, I still want that. I want the fantasy that one day I won't have to think about what goes in my mouth.

This is a life-long journey. I did not get to be 105 kilos overnight, I sure as hell didn't lose all of this weight overnight, so I need to be patient with myself. The inner-girl needs some reassurance that reaching goal will be okay. We will get there, we can do this together.

So I have a few goals for myself over the next 3 days. I will continue to keep my food journal (as I have done pretty religiously for months and months now) and eat healthy foods, but I will also exercise. I started to type "try" but I remember as an old Weight Watcher leader used to say, there is no "try" you either do it or you don't. So true.

Thanks to all of you for your constant encouragement and friendship. You and your blogs are my support system and I couldn't do this last bit without you.

Comments

Argy said…
I just want to remind you that you have not lost over 30 kilos cause you've been lucky. You have lost all this weight because you are a determined woman who has worked hard forthis accomplishment.

I understand the fear of reaching goal. Even I have this and I am 18 kilos away, not just five like you! I sometimes dread the delightful moment, because if I loose the "blame it on the weight" safe board what will I blame *it* on?

I also want to remind you that I am here and I will continue to be, for losses and gains, for good and bad. Because if it weren't for you, all of you, I am not sure I would have still be here!
8:52 pm
AliRose said…
God, your words always ring so true to me. I completely understand what you said about questioning what happens when you do loose all the weight, it's not like you can just go back to your old eating habits! It just feels like it's never over, a never-ending struggle. Being a woman is so difficult, with all the temptations that surround us, and the expectations of others constantly in the back of our minds, but it's quite obvious you're a strong-willed woman who can conquer anything you set your mind to. I like to just constantly think about how wonderful it makes me feel to slip into something tight and sexy, and feel confident in it. It helps when I'm reaching for that bag of cheetos or contemplating picking up that phone and calling for pizza!
8:54 am
AliRose said…
God, your words always ring so true to me. I completely understand what you said about questioning what happens when you do loose all the weight, it's not like you can just go back to your old eating habits! It just feels like it's never over, a never-ending struggle. Being a woman is so difficult, with all the temptations that surround us, and the expectations of others constantly in the back of our minds, but it's quite obvious you're a strong-willed woman who can conquer anything you set your mind to. I like to just constantly think about how wonderful it makes me feel to slip into something tight and sexy, and feel confident in it. It helps when I'm reaching for that bag of cheetos or contemplating picking up that phone and calling for pizza!
8:59 am
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Weigh-in March 5th

I weighed in at 68.1, and was amazed to discover that I lost 800 grams this week. I've only got just over 5 kilos left to lose before I reach my goal. Like WOW. I mean wow. I am pinching myself. Can you believe this? A weight loss 2 weeks in a row?!?! I mean jeez, imagine what I could do if I got my butt up off the couch and started exercising. I think I owe it all to the Wendie Plan, which by the way I told all my fellow weight watcher' members about today. I tried to tell them anyway, but I couldn't say a whole lot because our leader likes to hog all the air time. It is weird. I've never felt so shut down in a place where we should all be sharing our ideas with each other. Isn't it a support group, not a one-woman-show? Plus she is boring and only talks about the same thing over and over again. I've heard enough about low GI foods, exercising, how her daughter is a dancer, and how good it is to eat protein for breakfast. I would try out a different ...
9 comments
Read more

All it takes is determination

I got my butt up this morning and did a 20-minute walk/jog, and it was still DARK outside. You proud of me?? Sure you are! I didn't do so well with my eating on the weekend, but this is not going to stand in my way. I know that in order to push through and lose more than what I've been averaging since Christmas (500-800 grams a week) I have got to stick to the Wendie Plan for the rest of this week and to my new lower points intake of 18 a day as well as exercise . I said the dreaded word, but it is true. I can do this. I have decided that there will be no excuses. I will apply to be this year's WW Slimmer of The Year. I can't let anything stand in my way. Thanks to all of you for getting behind me with this. Your support is so crucial because I am feeling high and on top of the world right now, but I know there will be days that I will feel like giving up the fight when I will start thinking it is just to hard and I know I will be going back and reading all your w...
24 comments
Read more

A trip down memory lane

Hello to all of you all of you coming via Michele , thanks for stopping by and I only hope it was worth the trip over. I began reading through the questions on the Slimmer of The Year application today. Of course there are so many things I want to include, but I can't possibly write everything I want to or they will be getting a novel. When I started thinking of how long I have been overweight and the reasons I struggled for so long with food and weight issues a lot of memories came back to me. I've been challanged by my weight for most of my life. Granted some of that time I only thought I was fat when I really wasn't. The point is that I have been fat inside my head for as long as I can remember. One of the most shameful and embarrassing moments was when I was 15 and some of the boys in my class thought it was funny to sing "thunder, thunder, thunder thighs hooooooo!" when they saw me coming to the tune of the cartoon "Thunder Cats." That experie...
20 comments
Read more