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Yesterday I had an epiphany

It was more than a light bulb moment. It was awesome. I have to brag about myself because there is no one else to do it for me.

As you can imagine when I saw 71 kilos on my scale two days in a row I wasn't feeling all that great. On came a montage of debilitating head talk. I don't know if anyone else is aware of their head talk, but I am really awful to myself.

I call myself a fat cow, fatty, lazy, disgusting, etc. The list goes on and on. I catch myself doing it and sometimes can actually stop it, but once the words are said [in my head of course] their damage is done.

I had a physio appointment on Wed. afternoon and an appointment with R. afterwards. I usually schedule them back to back so that I'm not running around every single day of the week.

I had seen that they have one of those really expensive special scales that tells you your body fat percentage etc. I decided to get on this thing and find out all the dirt on myself.

I couldn't believe the results.

I of course was expecting it to tell me how much weight I still need to lose to be healthy; my hope was that this would give me the motivation I needed to get myself moving.

It did do that, but not the same way I thought it would.

So here is what it said:

27.3% body fat -- healthy range
51.6% h20 -- healthy range
a score of 4 for visceral fat [around organs] -- healthy range
49.7% muscle mass -- Standard Muscular body type
2.6 kg of bone mass
1567 calories/ 6555 kilojoules -- amount I should eat to maintain my weight
27 -- Metabolic age

Cool eh? It said I'm 3 years younger in my metabolic age. It was when she was reading all the numbers off to me that I realised, "Hey I'm not FAT." My body type of standard muscular appeared inbetween Heavy Build and Thin, above that was Obese. I was nowhere near the obese one. I was shocked.

Because I was so shocked [she wasn't] we talked about how much weight I want to lose. She told me there was no way I needed to lose weight. Gah!

It finally hit me that my continuing desire to lose more weight is simply cosmetic. Of course there is nothing wrong with wanting to wear sexier clothes and feel better about my size, but it is a completely different story to needing to lose weight because I am unhealthy.

She said to me that maybe I should focus on having my muscle mass percentage go up and my body fat percentage go down, rather than just on my weight.

I indeed will. I've decided that as long as I am seeing the physiotherapist I will hop on this amazing device at least once a month.

So, I left there feeling so much better about my 71 kilos. I still want to be at least 65 because I've been there before and I know it felt wonderful. But I've changed the way I see things.

I walked home from my psych appointment and it took me 40 minutes. We then worked out the distance and discovered that I walk a 17 minute mile! Another amazing feat.

That day I had walked a total of 70 minutes throughout my day and felt wonderful.

The following morning I decided to leave early for my first palates class and walked the 40 minutes to their office. It was during that walk that I realised I could do things like that several times a week and it would definitely improve my chances of losing weight.

Epiphany had.

I was enjoying the exercise. Finally! I found my love for endorphins again.

So there you go. I ended Wednesday with a total of 80 minutes of walking.

Today is Australia Day! And if you are in Australia I hope you are having a great holiday. I plan to rest today because palates may look easy, but every single muscle in my body hurts today.

If I walk it may be to go to the pool to cool off since it is so freaking hot. Stay cool wherever you are!

Comments

Meg said…
What a wonderful epiphany! How absolutely brilliant! Oh, man, it's lovely to hear you sounding so upbeat. Hooray!
Kathryn said…
That's fantastic, and what amazing scales. It must be great to see the whole picture rather than just a number.

Good luck with dropping that six kilos... and with stopping that horrible self talk.
Unknown said…
I am so happy you found those scales!! Do you know how happy you sound, it is just an amazing turn around. I am really pleased that you have changed your goal weight. You look HOT now. Only 6kg to your goal now!

Your results on those scales were excellent!
Anonymous said…
That's excellent! I wish I could get off my butt and start walking, but it's so cold out here. Just curious, it's wonderful that you can walk so much to places in Australia. Here in the USA you need a car to get anywhere and that cuts on any excercise a person can get.
Shannin said…
That is so wonderful! I'm very glad you got a different perspective on things. You sound so positive.
Lynda said…
Fan-bloody-tastic... about time you had some good news to share! How great to have been so overweight and now see that word "normal". I'm so glad you are feeling better about things.
You know what? It reallllllly pisses me off to see beautiful women like yourself be making major changes in your life, get close to goal and be really hard on yourself.

This machine is a god send because it has told you a little about what is going on INSIDE your body. You little muscle machine.

Do you know how many of our women athletes are over 70 kilos? and how healthy are they? ULTRA!

Im so proud of you and just brimming with happiness that you have made this discovery. Its the best news ever.
Anonymous said…
hey chickadee! i knew you were hot! I knew you didn't need ot lose anymore weight as soon as I saw you! I am SOOOOOOOOOO proud of you and that you are not just settling....you know that you have gone from fat to thin and now you want to go from thin to supermodel - who would stop you from wanting that??? You could probably fit into vinyl pants if u really really wanted to : P hehe!
Anonymous said…
wow, what a kickass moment!

maybe this is an opportunity to reasses your approach? clearly focusing on the number on the scale at home has done nothing but mess with your head and make you think horrible thoughts about yourself :) you're a healthy weight! you're THERE, baby!

so if you say wanting to lose more is now purely cosmetic, maybe you could focus on something like improving fitness. eg making some goals about improving your flexibility or weight training or walking/running goals. because if you're a healthy weight, the number may not necessarily go down that much. it could be a positive thing to focus on an exercise related goal, rather than a scale one. after all, the most noticiable "side-effect" of exercise is the cosmetic changes to body (which is what you're after) rather than a dramatic change on the scale!

and not only would it help the shape of your body it could help you feel better in your mind, which the scale never really does :)
Jeanna said…
I wish I knew where to find a scale like that! So glad you had such a wonderful revelation. I must say, I'm not a bit surprised by your results, you look beautiful :o)
Belladora said…
GREAT stuff! It's so motivating to hear about how you are feeling!
Anonymous said…
wonderful! you know i have been waiting for your epiphany and i knew it was coming soon. i am so glad it came. from now on? everything (EVERYTHING) will be easier. you will still ocassionally have the oh fat me thoughts but that epiphany? it will always always be there to bring you back!

you're not fat. you might want move what you have around but THAT is not weight loss. you're so far beyond weight loss. and when you start doing the things that will SCULPT your gorgeous NOT FAT body you will get down to that 65 easily. you're a thin person who wants to shift things around. that's the FUN part :)

enjoy!!!

and don't worry, i'm staying plenty cool ;)

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