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A total write off

So yesterday was weigh-in day. Well, instead of losing copious amounts of weight like the detox promised, I actually gained 200 grams.

Words cannot describe how I felt. When I eat a lot of crap and gain weight I know that I am the only one to blame, but when you do everything right and you find that instead of seeing your weight drop, you actually gain, there is nothing to blame it on.

I left the meeting without staying for the lesson because as I walked back to the car I burst into tears. I sat there and sobbed for a while talking to mr. ralph about how I felt.

From that point on I knew that the detox was toast. So this morning reading all your comments about how proud of me you all are made me feel worse. Don't be proud of me. I had one of the worst emotional eating days of all time.

I ate KFC for lunch with a twister wrap thing and some fries, I ate frozen fish (although the lowfat one from the freezer section) and some frozen fries along with 3 beers and a CC and dry for dinner. I also ate 2 lindt chocolates.

I wasn't even going to confess that I quit the detox 2 days early because I felt so horrible for allowing my emotions to get the best of me, but I can't pretend to you guys.

So in 19 days the total amount I lost from doing this detox is 1 kilo. I'm not sure that this is the detox fault, as I said before I was eating pretty strict before. I think that my body is really fighting me on this last 3 kilos.

I've hit the biggest wall and instead of being a fighter I crumbled. And how do I feel today? I'm very depressed.

I know all the right things to do. I know I should just keep doing what I know is right and eventually I should burst through the plateau, but I seriously don't know how to cope with more weeks of doing all the right things and not reaping any reward for all my hard work.

So that is where I am. I guess it is a crossroads. It is for me to decide where I go from here.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I think you give yourself far less credit than you deserve. So you ate what you weren't supposed to. Do you think you are the only one that has doen that? Heck no! Be proud of your accomplishments...take a deep breath and tomorrow is another day.

I've visited a few times in the last few months, and I have to say you are amazing. Don't kick yourself over it. You've got a hell of a lot more willpower than I!
8:40 am
-E said…
Because you didn't get the results you desired doesn't mean you shouldn't be proud of yourself. And having a bad day because of emotions- honey, you're human! The fact that you don't do that regularly speaks volumes as to how proud of yourself you should be.

Don't sweat the small stuff sweetie.

Michele sent me.
8:48 am
Arethusa said…
I agree with -E, we all sink into the doldrums sometimes, and it doesn't sound as if do it often. As long as you don't wallow in the funk forever I see no reason to be so hard on yourself.

You sound very self-aware, pretty soon you'll brush yourself and make the best decision for yourself. I'm sending good vibes!

Here from Michele's Meet and Greet!
10:58 am
Melissa said…
You are doing so well and I think you are paying out on yourself too much.. You are doing so well and are so insirational to so many WW'ers..
4:28 pm
Anonymous said…
I think you're being way too hard on yourself. This week wasn't what you wanted from the weigh in but overall you have lost weight on this diet. You have worked so hard and you should be extremely proud of yourself, so you ate some stuff you 'shouldn't' have but at the end of the day we all do that...it's human nature and nothing to be ashamed of.

Chin up girl you're doing really well and you need to give yourself the credit you deserve.
9:51 pm
Anonymous said…
Hell, those of us who are on the same path have all been there, I struggle almost everyday. I think the trick might be to cut the funk down a little more each time. It used to take me years, then months, now I got it down to a few days. We gain, lose, fall, get back up and keep hoping that the tally somehow adds up to less than we were before. It will, keep going...
5:19 am
Wenchy said…
I agree. You being too hard on yourself! It is not in the staying down but in the getting right back up! Today is a new day.
3:30 pm
Anonymous said…
maybe you weren't eating enough on the detox? your body doesn't tend to let go of weight if it's not getting enough food... especially if you're exercising too.
10:35 pm
Anonymous said…
you do know kfc contains ghb?
1:15 am
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