So it is Friday morning and of course you know I jumped on the scale first thing. I've had a pretty up and down week because I was so excited on Saturday when I lost the 800 grams that I then proceeded to eat and eat and eat.
This is just one of those things though. I know that next week I will get back on track and before long I will be at goal and still I will have weeks like this. My weight is not going to magically stablilze. But don't I wish it would?
I'm still mulling over this fat versus skinny feeling I have about myself. Yesterday I tried on a size 10 short jean skirt and cringed at the cellulite and fatty bits I could see on my legs. I know that if I had on black tights it wouldn't look that bad and even though the skirt was a steal at $10 because it was the last one she had in stock I still didn't buy it because the gremlins in my head were going working over time convincing me I looked like a fat cow in it.
Usually I can put these voices at bay because in pants I know I look great. I know that I will never have matchstick pins, this is a fate I've already accepted, but I still should feel comfortable in skirts.
I'm hoping that by summertime I will have worked through this issue and have conquered my fat head.
Now for why I have been stressed out lately. This will get personal, you've been warned. I had some problems in the girly department last week. Needless to say because I was raped when I was younger my overactive imagination helped me proceed to freak out. I called my sister who told me to calm down because it was probably just a yeast infection.
Yeast eh? I've never had one before, had no clue what it was so I looked it up and some of the symptoms were the same and some weren't. I went to the doctor though, and that was last Thursday. I explained to her my fears because of the rape and she took some swabs and said she would test me for everything, but again told me not to worry.
But if you've seen one thing about me from this blog it is that I don't calm down easily. I've been worried all week. Yesterday waiting for my results I thought I was going to hurl just from the nerves. But thankfully I only have Thrush, aka a yeast infection. How I managed to make it until the ripe old age of 30 without ever having one is beyond me, but I am so relieved.
She said that the test results revealed no nasties.
Sigh.
I've been worried that that asshole gave me something since I was 18. I've already had 2 HIV tests and because these things can be silent I've always worried that one day... you know.
What a weight lifted off my chest.
And if that wasn't enough, mr. ralph had an endoscopy on Monday because of the pain he has been having. It seems that it is not reflux, but he has scaring and damage in his esophagus that they have done a biopsy on. We still do not know the results and he even as I write this is still having a lot of pain. The anti-acid prescription that we've spent $30 on has done absolutely nothing for him. And of course I am worried. I just want it to be something manageable and for him to have some relief.
Please keep my hubs in your thoughts.
And lastly I've tried my hand at designing argy's site and it seems it was a success, so now I am working on a design for airlie. If anyone else would like a ms. ralph design, drop me an email and we can talk about it.
This is just one of those things though. I know that next week I will get back on track and before long I will be at goal and still I will have weeks like this. My weight is not going to magically stablilze. But don't I wish it would?
I'm still mulling over this fat versus skinny feeling I have about myself. Yesterday I tried on a size 10 short jean skirt and cringed at the cellulite and fatty bits I could see on my legs. I know that if I had on black tights it wouldn't look that bad and even though the skirt was a steal at $10 because it was the last one she had in stock I still didn't buy it because the gremlins in my head were going working over time convincing me I looked like a fat cow in it.
Usually I can put these voices at bay because in pants I know I look great. I know that I will never have matchstick pins, this is a fate I've already accepted, but I still should feel comfortable in skirts.
I'm hoping that by summertime I will have worked through this issue and have conquered my fat head.
Now for why I have been stressed out lately. This will get personal, you've been warned. I had some problems in the girly department last week. Needless to say because I was raped when I was younger my overactive imagination helped me proceed to freak out. I called my sister who told me to calm down because it was probably just a yeast infection.
Yeast eh? I've never had one before, had no clue what it was so I looked it up and some of the symptoms were the same and some weren't. I went to the doctor though, and that was last Thursday. I explained to her my fears because of the rape and she took some swabs and said she would test me for everything, but again told me not to worry.
But if you've seen one thing about me from this blog it is that I don't calm down easily. I've been worried all week. Yesterday waiting for my results I thought I was going to hurl just from the nerves. But thankfully I only have Thrush, aka a yeast infection. How I managed to make it until the ripe old age of 30 without ever having one is beyond me, but I am so relieved.
She said that the test results revealed no nasties.
Sigh.
I've been worried that that asshole gave me something since I was 18. I've already had 2 HIV tests and because these things can be silent I've always worried that one day... you know.
What a weight lifted off my chest.
And if that wasn't enough, mr. ralph had an endoscopy on Monday because of the pain he has been having. It seems that it is not reflux, but he has scaring and damage in his esophagus that they have done a biopsy on. We still do not know the results and he even as I write this is still having a lot of pain. The anti-acid prescription that we've spent $30 on has done absolutely nothing for him. And of course I am worried. I just want it to be something manageable and for him to have some relief.
Please keep my hubs in your thoughts.
And lastly I've tried my hand at designing argy's site and it seems it was a success, so now I am working on a design for airlie. If anyone else would like a ms. ralph design, drop me an email and we can talk about it.
Comments
Hope next week is a better one for you!
I had a go using frontpage, but I couldnt get my posts to work properly. I might email you for some tips :o)
A size 10 skirt, wowsa, your itsy bitsy small!!
Very happy for you that your girly problem turned out to only be thrush.
PS. No Im not in Adelaide, Im in NSW.
Thrush... lol... welcome to the land of itch crotches and pain where most of us have been!!
You are doing so well - 40 kilos off is amazing so don't ever forget that.