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Butterflies

As some of you may know I love butterflies. I've always liked them, but the fact that the butterfly was once a caterpillar is the most amazing things about them.

Right now I feel like a butterfly that has finally been freed from its cocoon.

This weekend I gave away another huge load of clothes that don't fit me anymore and I have several bags just waiting to be dropped off at the donation centre. It feels incredible to put on a pair of jeans that once fit snug and now be able to pull them off without unbuttoning them.

I've been lucky over the past week in my search for smaller, fashionable clothes at my local Goodwill and Salvation Army. I've found some really good deals and even have a few designer brands, and all are size Au-10, most have even already been altered for someone as short as me, which is an added bonus.

Sometimes I have to pinch myself because I think there is no way I fit into a size 10 anything, let alone pants. It is surreal.

I have been thinking a lot about Argy's recent post. I love the way she sees herself in the world and I love the way she is always on top of what she is thinking. I know for me it is paramount for me to be in touch what what is going on with me emotionally before I can understand what is happening with my food intake.

I've picked myself back up from my weekend glum, but I still have a ways to go. I've decided to keep to my points and exercise as much as possible (without damaging my already failing health) and just let the last few kilos take as long as they want. What do I have to gain by pushing myself too hard, except a lot of heartache in the end?

I know I can and will do it, but I think if it takes me 6 months, so be it. I'm okay with it. I really am. And in the meantime I will be enjoying my new wings, flitting about in size 10 clothes and feeling damn good about it.

Comments

Wenchy said…
I hope to one day be in your shoes. *sigh*
Anonymous said…
You are an inspiration. I knew that feeling at this time last year. Since then I have slowly put on about 18 lbs. of the 30 I lost. Sigh. My motivation has gone in the toilet - but reading your post made be feel hopeful.

This is the long weekend, here in Canada, where the summer clothes come out of storage....and I'm scared. I wonder if anything from last year will fit.

Congratulations on all your hard work!
Anonymous said…
Those are very happy words! I didn't even think about trying out thrift stores -- good call.

I hope I'm your shoes one day and casting off clothes with as much good feeling. I'll never be a size 10 (I'm not that petite), but it'll be the same sort of thing on a larger scale. You should feel really good about all the progress you've made!
Anonymous said…
What a lucky find. The best I've done at the op shops is a pair of near new Jeans West jeans.

Size 10 *sigh*
Virginia said…
I have been checking out your pictures and have discovered Buckley... he is hilarious!! i am in LOVE with your cat... even from pictures you can tell he's got one serious personality on him!
i think the al bundy pose is a cracker! thanks for sharing :)
phoenix said…
Congrats on the decision to let it take whatever time is needed for the weight to come off, as long as you stick to your guns... size 8 is next!! Keep up the great work!

Hi from Michele!
Anonymous said…
Hi I'm here from Michele's and Buckley is so cute. There are 3 cats in my house who own 1 human who is highly allergic to them but why should breathing get in the way of their happiness.
Anonymous said…
i hope to one day be in your pants *sigh*

in a non ellen degeneres way!

hugs bek!
That is a great attitude. Congrats on the progess already. Way to go!