livingforrecovery

Last night I made these delish chicken burgers. Mr. ralph and I enjoyed them immensely. But today.... we are both sick. I won't make you suffer the gory details, but it looks like we may have had some minor food poisioning. I came home from work early due to stomach cramps and an urgent need for the toilet. Doing that at work in a ladies toilet with 10 stalls is not my idea of a great day at the office. I really don't know if the chicken was off because it didn't smell, and it didn't taste off. I guess I could have undercooked it. Please think good thoughts for mr. ralph as he seems to be suffering the brunt of it and thinks I tried to poison him for real! No seriously he doesn't think that, but we are not well.

To those of you who took offense by my last entry: Please do not assume that I think all Australian doctor's are bad. You are wrong. I love my normal GP, even though she only works 3 half days a week and is almost always booked up. A few weeks ago after seeing her I had flowers sent to her because she is simply one of the most amazing people I've ever met. She beats any doctor I've ever seen, in any country hands down. She is a beautiful person. It would not matter what country I live in, or even what nationality the doctor's I am seeing are. Workcover has only chosen one for me by the way, and it shouldn't matter about that either. I am a person. I should be treated with dignity and respect like any other person. I happen to live in Ausrailia so pardon me for drawing on that experience when writing about the doctor's I've seen. It is a little difficult not to since it just so happens to be where I live for now. And my experiences with doctors her...

First of all, my weight is a bit up at the moment. We are not at all surprised by this at your humble narrators house. You see I am on volt@ren again and this causes despicable water retention. I've also discovered a new food love, couscous. I'm sure it can be good for you in small quantities, but that is another story. Also yesterday the stresses of this week forced me to eat a doughnut. Forced me I tell you! Basically work is shit. We're experiencing extremely high call volumes and at the same time one of our systems keeps crashing every half hour. It sucks. I am tired and cranky, and I have a very sore left shoulder. But the bit that takes the cake is this, on Wednesday morning I went to see a surgeon hand picked for me by my insurance company because they wanted me to have an independent assessment. I was told to take my films and be there for an appointment at 9am. I am notorious for never being late, in fact most of the time I am early for everything includin...

My new name for Back to Basics is now Operation Christmas Parties Mr. ralph and I have 4 Christmas parties between our work gatherings and social engagements to go to this year. I of course want to wear the dress as previously mentioned to at least one or two of these events. It doesn't fit right now. My mission is clear. I will look great for Christmas! Okay so the battle of the bloat was successful. I drank heaps of water on Friday and ended up with a good result on the scale. Saturday being my official weigh-in day saw me at 68 kilos on the dot! That was a whopping 800 gram loss for the week. Not to shabby I might add. This week I am aiming for nothing less than a one kilo or more loss. The plan is to be a bit more restrictive. I have already written out my meal plan for the week and am going to the grocery store when I get through with this entry to buy all the food for the week. I've planned a bit under my point allowance because I will probably add a few snacks...

Normally I'd take today's weight gain in stride because it would be my fault really, but this week I've been trying. I haven't done all that well, but I've not done that bad either. Or so I thought. I did weigh myself yesterday as well though, and was pretty happy that I had appeared to have lost 200 grams. But today, it is the opposite and I've instead gained 300. In the spirit of The Simpsons, Wha??? I think it may be just my body ballooning up. I'm experiencing a lot of agony lately, I feel the neck and shoulder muscles swelling and I have had to take some pain medication with codeine. We all know codeine is the dieters enemy. Tomorrow's weight reading may be different, I sure freaking hope so. I can't believe the scale is back to 69.2. I can't be 69 kilos. I cannot let that happen. In my head 68 has been the ceiling, because 69 is just too close to 70. I know it is weird, but subconsciously this is what I've been thinking about...

So I started with great intentions, but Sunday wasn't as great a day as I would hope for day 1. I did keep my food journal and that is a plus! I also didn't eat junk food. Monday was much better although I felt subconsiously hungry all day. I allowed myself one treat at night, some low-fat icecream (one serve). Exercise hasn't really happened yet, but I keep thinking about that dress. I have just about a month to get some weight moving so I can wear it. I desperately want to wear it so I can have a unique dress that no one else has! I love the colours and the way it flows. It really is pretty, the light in my picture doesn't do it justice. I also wanted to add that I never meant to infer that everyone who seeks gastric bypass is lazy and seeking surgery for a weight-loss cure all. Please don't take my comments to mean that. I just think that it is becomming too common-place in our society and something we should think about.

Why haven't I posted all week? Well I've been pretty much the same. Nothing has changed in the last week. I still eat half healthy food, half crap food. I still probably weigh around 68 kilos (I haven't weighed because I was on my period this week). I still haven't been back to any Weight Watchers meetings. I'm actually starting to feel fat in some of my clothes, because some of them were bought when I was down to 65 kilos. And yesterday I tried on a pair of jeans that were too tight when I was out shopping and thought a lot about this last 5 kilos. Also, I ate KFC for dinner last night, so obviously I didn't think hard enough. Then I watched the Oprah special with Kirstie Alley... On Oprah after Kirstie Alley did her promo for Jenny Craig(tm) , Oprah had a woman on who had gastric bypass and lost over 300 pounds. They showed these images of all of her hanging skin that had to be removed. She had already been through 5 surgical procedures and had someth...

So lately I've been feeling under the weather. At first it was a sore throat that led to coughing, and now the coughing has almost subsided but the sore throat has returned. I went to the doctor last week and was told that I probably had a virus. I didn't take any antibiotics because I didn't have any symptoms (except the swollen glands) that led me to believe I had an infection of any kind. This weekend my shoulders and neck started to ache and not in the usual spot on the left side which is normally due to exertion and the bulging disc, but this time I'm mostly sore on the right side. What worries me is I have no idea what is causing this. Also I've had some rather unusual bowel habits at even in this forum is a little personal to discuss. So now I have a sore throat, sore shoulders and neck, and I have a severe upset stomach. How wonderful! Want to know something that boggles my mind the most? Somehow I managed to drop a kilo last week without even trying. ...

Okay. I do get the point. I know it may seem silly for me to keep hammering on about the same 5-6 kilos I have left to loose, when you see pictures that clearly demonstrate that I do not look like a girl that should be on a diet. I love you honestyrain , I really do. You're one of my top 5 favorite bloggers. Your comment yesterday meant a lot to me because I know why you wrote it, and I know you meant well, but the truth is this is not about being on a diet. It is about reaching goal. When I started out on this journey so very long ago at 105 kilos I made the goal to be 63 kilos. If I stop now what kind of person would I be? I can't stop. I have to reach my goal because it is what I set out to do. I know that being 68 kilos isn't that bad, and I can look in the mirror, take pictures, where fitted shirts, wear belts, and sleeveless shirts without any embarrassment. But I am still not at goal. I know it is just a number. It isn't the end all be all of my existen...

I still haven't got my shit together, but that probably doesn't come as a big surprise. I spend half my time counting WW points and the other half just eating whatever the hell I want. This is what in the south one would call a "half-assed" diet attempt. I believe Beckie to be right on the money. I don't see a payoff, at least not an immediate one. I had a look at some photos taken of myself yesterday. The truth is the only part of my body I cringe when I look at is my arms. I actually wish I could do some weight training on them, but I can't. The problems with my spine in my neck prevent me from doing anything. If I keep up my regular strength exercises given to me by my physio, I will eventually get to where I can, but I don't think it will be in time for sculpted arms this summer . I also wish I could start skipping again. I miss it. But I can't do anything like that, I can't even jog. It sucks. Walking just doesn't get the hear...

I know it seems that all I do lately is complain. I know that it is crazy to allow this rut to continue, but I feel like I've fallen in a hole and can't get out of it, and when I do, I somehow find my way back to it again. I've definitely been here before, I remember it very clearly. Back then the scale was stuck at around 87, not 67. What is the major problem? I lack the most essential ingredient needed to get my bum in gear, motivation. I feel bad that I am not at goal yet, but not bad enough to move my arse. So much is going on. I'm worried about my family, I'm worried about finances, I'm worried about my neck and worried that the new bulge may lead to another spinal fusion. I'm worried that work cover will not accept my new claim. I hate to be so up and down here and it even worries me that my readers see me floundering around with my commitment to getting to goal, but I don't want to stop writing here. This is my sanctuary. This is the one ...

What was I thinking? I don't think I can make it. I just spent over $60 on junk food for the Grand Final party we are going to today. Three kinds of cheese, pate, organic water crackers, cashews, almonds, dried apricots, new tappa's doritos (I have wanted to try them forEVER), mini pretzels, and pre-made potato salad because I feel lazy, oh also some dip. Can you believe how much this stuff costs? Unbelievable. And I think I went a little overboard. There is no way all of that crap is going to be eaten. Last night I bought my first pair of non-stretch jeans (that don't cut off my circulation) and are a size 11. That translates into a US size 9. The last time I was this size I was 15. But am I happy with myself? No. Last week was a good week. I had a great loss. This week was shit. I ate lots of bread, and succumbed to the demon that forces me to buy twisties at work. How the hell will I see goal by Christmas? I have no idea. But I know that something has got to...

If you are a regular Michele reader I am borrowing this from her daily 3 things she did on the 17th because my answer is somewhat of a fascinating topic for me and am very curious what my readers will say. Please comment, even you lurkers! Name three commercials or advertisements that you have seen or heard, that actually made you want to buy the product or service: My answer: I hate to admitt this but I am the biggest SUCKER for advertising. I am brainwashed in mere seconds. I even eat fast food when recommended to me by my TV even though I normally steer clear of it and eat a healthy diet. I am an advertising giant's wetdream. That said, here are the latest: 1.Mcdonalds new fresh menu and their current campaign of "your inner child". I even sing the song. I've already been there and tried the new "healthy choices". 2. Cheerios. I didn't even know they had them here in Australia until the ad came on. I bought a box that weekend but this could also be...

I have kept this number between me and mr. ralph, but last week I saw 68.8 kilos on the scale. This was depressing as you can imagine. Somehow even with a few minor hiccups (like mini pastries and pies at work) and a magnum for dessert last night, I lost 1.4 kilos and am back to 67.4. Amazing. I attribute this to the walking I did this week. I now have more confidence that goal by Christmas isn't unattainable after all. Have a happy weekend.

Halfway through I do switch gears and talk about weight-loss once again [begin political rant] Recently I went out with one of my aussie female friends on a night where she was meeting up with a guy she had met on one of the match websites. That night I did happen to partake in a few too many drinks due to the price of one of my favorite bottled beers being only $4 compared to $7 or even $8 in some places. The man she met happened to be very nice, and I enjoyed speaking to him, but he had a friend with him who was with a female the likes of which I refer to as "granola". You know the kind. I don't like to contribute to stereotypes, but I hope the term "granola" is not in the least offensive to any of my readers. I like; it is good with some honey and milk. Anyway to get to the point the man friend and ms. granola appeared to not like me and it became increasingly clear why. With every comment I made about anything they seem to have the exact opposite opinio...

I have been thinking about weight-loss, I just haven't been doing anything about it. I feel fat. I feel disgustingly fat. I haven't weighed myself since last weekend when the number 68 glared up at me from my digital scale. Last night I drank beer and ate pizza while watching an AFL final. I don't want to see anything higher than that, and the truth is I'm just afraid. I've been drinking more, and generally just eating more. The stress of the past few weeks has really affected me and I don't know what is going on. I'm eating as a coping mechanism again. I don't know how to stop this train wreck. But I am thinking about it. I am. I just got off the telephone with my brother who is at wits end. He is stressed, tired, and angry. I'm sure he didn't mean to spend 30 minutes blowing off steam to me on the phone, but that is what he did. I'm sure he needed it. My parents are going back to their home this weekend and are going to live in ...

This picture is from MS, where you can see that hurricane Katrina knows no color. Because I love what she said, and what she is generating in comments please read this entry of Meg's. Also if you want to read local news about the MS Gulf Coast, go to this website . I haven't been able to speak to my Mom and Dad in a few days and this is driving me crazy. I got voice mail a few times and have sent emails to my brother, but I need to make sure my Dad calls his employer. Sigh. I also want to make sure my Mom has filed her insurance claim. I've also seen reports that there is an orgnaization putting thick plastic over damaged roofs in MS which will prevent further damage from rain etc. I can't get through! Also for those that are concerned about my cat, please see my response in the previous entry comments .

I wanted to update sooner, but things have been so crazy. I plan on writing my own tribute to New Orleans ... but maybe over the weekend. My sister has been emailing to let me know she is keeping watch over the old cat, and even though he is mad for being left alone he is still alive and well. Last email she wrote she told me how she gave him a walk outside and sat with him a while before she had to leave. I'm organizing a day at my work where we do a gold coin donation for The American Red Cross, because no one else has even thought about it. It is unbelievable. I can't believe how much the Aussies (at my work at least) donated to the Tsunami but with this they aren't even thinking... Also, some friends have approached me to donate directly to my family. I couldn't believe it, but WOW. Isn't that awesome? It may not be very much in the end, but it will buy them a week's worth of groceries I'm sure. I was also thinking of setting up a paypal account ...

This made me cry. Anne Rice in the New York Times , "Do You Know What It Means to Lose New Orleans? - New York Times" : WHAT do people really know about New Orleans? Do they take away with them an awareness that it has always been not only a great white metropolis but also a great black city, a city where African-Americans have come together again and again to form the strongest African-American culture in the land? The first literary magazine ever published in Louisiana was the work of black men, French-speaking poets and writers who brought together their work in three issues of a little book called L'Album Littéraire. That was in the 1840's, and by that time the city had a prosperous class of free black artisans, sculptors, businessmen, property owners, skilled laborers in all fields. Thousands of slaves lived on their own in the city, too, making a living at various jobs, and sending home a few dollars to their owners in the country at the end of the mon...