livingforrecovery

If ever there was a day that I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear from the world it is today. At about 3 am this morning I had the worst pain imaginable in my chest and had to take one of the endone tablets I had left from my stay in the hospital after my surgery. I was lucky to have it since without it I doubt I could go to sleep. This morning I awoke at 7:30 to find the pain had not subsided. My hunny left for his University office and I went online to visit a few blogs when the pain just kept getting worse. I walked over to the physio nearby to find out if she takes workcover patients because I just didn't know what else to do. Calling the surgeon's office would prove futile I'm sure. She told me she would need a referral and her first available appointment was tomorrow at 3. I took the spot and then began my short walk home. I think I got about 4 steps away from the place before bursting out into tears. By the time I got back inside my house I wa...

Yesterday I went to a clothing party at my mum-in-law's home. It is called Postie Fashions and apparantly they've been in business selling clothes out of homes for a long time. I didn't expect to like them, but I surprised myself. If you go to the website, you can check out the current line and click on the gallery to see the spring/summer collections. I actually fit into some size AU12 things (which is a US 10). My body is inbetween sizes right now though, so it makes it difficult to buy things. I tried on this beautiful white suit and had to have it. It is so gorgeous and when my hunny bunny saw it on me his eyes lit up. After that, it was pretty much a done deal. I had to order the pants in a size 14 because the thighs were too tight in the 12's. Have I mentioned that is where my problem lies? This last 10 kilos is right in my butt and thighs. It is so hard to lose it from there. When I was in Junior High grade 6, I remember the boys teasing me and ...

I am awake. I think I may be the only one that is, at least no one else is roaming about drinking coffee and writing in a weblog. I am worried that today I will eat too much out of sheer boredom because I am here with not much to do because of the heat, and so much bad food lurking about. I did okay last night. I pretty much stayed in the 20 point limit which was great. But today I am going to be at this little clothing party of my mum-in-laws and she is having nibbles. I had her buy lite dip and low-fat rice crackers, but I know I will probably still eat more than I should. Hopefully I will have the sense to drink a lot of water and eat some carrots beforehand. Tonight we will have salad for dinner at home because mum-ralph and younger-ralph are going somewhere. I am not sure what we will make because we need to go grocery shopping. Damn. I just remembered I was meant to defrost our freezer. Oh well. And I have no idea when we will go shopping since the store...

I weigh 73 kilos even. One hundred and sixty pounds. Not that bad. I gained 400 grams. I can live with that. I have resolved to lose a kilo this week. I will do it. This week will be different. For starters, dinner is at home tonight. We are having homemade hamburgers at my mum-in-law's house. And the heat is so bad that we are staying the night here tonight. But this time, I will be good. I swear it. I am making a salad to go with the hamburgers, and mr ralph and I have decided that because of the heat, we will eat salad for dinner every night this week. I will have to be creative BUT I think it will be fun. I'll publish the ingredients of each salad here so you can play along. If you know any good salad recipes that can be used as a main dish PLEASE tell me where I can find them in comments or email me at suckingitin at gmail dot com.

Weigh-in has arrived. The truth will happen in 2 hours time. I'm up because I've been waking up early lately, and it is so hot the air is sucking my will to live. It is only 7:30 but our place heats up like an oven and never cools down. Anyway, I was thinking of using the no-weigh card, but I know how silly that is. I am just going to face the music. If I gained it can't be that much, it may not add up to a whole pound. I still can't believe the Mexican food and dessert from that night could solely be responsible for this. I exercised every single day this week to combat it, and wasn't successful. Last night I ate breakfast for dinner, but it was out and I was dumb. I forgot to ask for no butter on the toast, and for them to poach the eggs. The bacon was slightly fatty, but I cut the fat off. But all and all I was just about 2 points over on the day and the morning walk should have helped with that. Seems I am relying too much on my exercise ...

I'm in the home stretch. I have less than 25% of my extra weight left to lose, and yet I am stuck in a rut. I am super hard on myself as a few of you have mentioned, yet as I think about that the first thing that comes to mind is: If not me, who will be? I feel driven to be this way. Back when I lost the first 20 pounds I remember feeling very empowered, and very happy about my accomplisment, now I focus so much on what is left to be done that I forget to give myself a huge pat on the back for making it this far. I've gone 3 years without going up and down on the scales. I've been losing weight or effectively maintaining weight and that is something I should be proud of. Today I had my brother describe all the food they will be eating when they sit down for their Thanksgiving dinner (probably right now as I write this), and my mouth watered. If I were there I'd probably end up eating so much it would take me a month to get back on track. I really...

I got this from milk & pepsi . Please answer the following in the comments box(mine will be in the first comment): 1. If you could duct tape someone you dislike into a lawn chair and make them listen to three songs over and over and over, who would the person be and what would the songs be? 2. If you could smash a pie in George W. Bush's face, what flavor would it be? 3. What's your favorite sandwich? 4. What kind of underwear do you prefer? 5. Describe your favorite shoes. 6. Do you have a piggy bank? How much is in it? 7. Would you wear bright orange pants if they fit great and were of superior quality? 8. Scott Peterson: life without parole or the death penalty? 9. Would you rather drive a Saturn with dents and a bad paint job that ran great or a BMW that looked great but had frequent engine troubles? 10. What actor or actress would you refuse to go to the Academy Awards with?

I'm trying hard not to let the scale get me down. I'm already planning to use the no-weigh card yet again. The last time was a month ago, but it still hurts. This would be the 3rd time to use the damn thing. I just wish I had used a little self-control at that stupid work dinner. I always focus on the negative. This is a big problem for me. A few days ago Steffanie commented on here and reminded me to be happy about how far I've come. And she is right. I've come a really really long way. When I read other people's blogs and I read what they've lost and how many sizes they've dropped, I'm always impressed. I seem to be more impressed with other people's success than my own. A few weeks ago I was discussing this last 10 kilos with a close friend, we'll call her Sam . She recently introduced me to one of her other close friends and I must have brought up my diet with her when I saw her. Apparently when she last saw Sam she asked her if I h...

Last night was a complete disaster in the kitchen. I tried to alter a recipe I found yesterday and it didn't work. I ended up with some kind of low-fat sweet potato cheesecake. It might taste ok, but it looks disgusting and is the remnants of what was meant to be a two layer pie. If I cut big slices they're 4 points a slice. Sigh. Plus I distroyed a cornbread. I think I put too much baking soda, it tasted bitter. So this morning I had to make a new one, and in deciding that I didn't want too much stuffing/dressing leftover I halved the recipe. It tastes ok, but didn't brown. Double sigh. Let us not forget all the licks, bites, and tastes I did while baking. I had two of the cookies I used for the pie base. They're 1 point each! This small pan of cornbread dressing is a whopping 17 points total. Talk about hefty dinner. I think I am having a point-free lunch. If I can make it through today (which I brought on myself since I don't really have to ea...

I was looking for lowfat recipes for the Thanksgiving dinner I will prepare on Wednesday (long story but of course they don't celebrate it here and we need to do it a day earlier), but this website popped up and I have been browsing recipes and am now hungry. Damnit. I want to eat it all. It is a good thing I don't have any of the ingredients I need or I'd be baking right now. The aqua-robics was good. I really stayed for the entire hour, plus I walked there and back (total 40 minutes). But somehow I think all that exercise has made me want to eat more.

I got on the scale this morning like a complete idiot. I knew it was going to have my weight up, but I did anyway. It is so depressing that one Mexican meal and a shared dessert can do this to me. I have to remember to keep trucking on and make everyday for the rest of the week count towards my weightloss efforts and not let this blight get in my way. I'm very proud of myself for yesterday. I walked twice for a total of 50 minutes and did the 30 aqua aerobics. I discovered that since they offer the 30 minute classes back to back you can pay once and stay for more than one. I am going to do that today. It was tiring, but not so tiring that I couldn't do an hour of it. Besides in the 2nd half hour if I need to slow down I can. People just move at their own pace. As for the pain, it was tolerable. The pain in my chest (pectoral muscles) comes and goes. I find if I get into certain positions it doesn't bother me as much. It worries me and I really wish I had addressed it ...

Last night I made the most delish smoothie. Since I don't have a blender I haven't really tried to make any smoothies or low-fat shakes because what I really want is to be able to throw fruit and ice and whatever I want and have it all blend up to perfection. What I do have is a stupid shake-maker that I thought was something it is not when I put it on my gift registry. Should have put a blender on that thing. Sigh, hindsight. Well at our local Coles they have small bottles (2 servings) of these wonderful fruit things. They're not exactly juice, and they're not exactly thick, but they're all natural and basically delicious. I blended banana flavored nestle yogurt and 1/2 cup skim milk along with 50 mls of the mango flavored one and whoala, a 2 point smoothie which I shared with mr ralph. Today I will make a coffee flavored smoothie by adding instant coffee with a coffee flavored yogurt. Sounds good no? Well I am frothing at the mouth in anticipation. I didn...

So no one commented yesterday. I can't say I'm that surprised. But I spent some additional time on the new look and decided it was a keeper. Last night I ate so much. I don't even want to know how bad the damage was. I have no idea how many points it was but it was probably 2 days worth. The Mexican place my work team choose had nothing on the menu that was low-fat. Nothing. I also had a margaritta and a corona, plus my lovely husband took me to The Elephant Walk cafe for dessert. The place is quaint and has a very relaxing atmosphere. It is hard to describe but it was fab. We ate something called Banana waffles that had vanilla icecream and chocolate syrup. It was so damn yummie though, and we shared it. It is already after noon and I haven't eaten a thing yet. Mr ralph is still sleeping and I really should wake him so we can get on with our Sunday. I didn't go for a walk because I didn't wake up until after 10am and it was already too warm ...

Please tell me what you think of this new look I created today. I want to see what people think before I change it permanently. Please comment!

I lost 700 grams, and weigh-in at 72.6! That totals 1.5 kilos this past 3 weeks, which is an average of 1 pound per week. Let me tell you that when you get down to the bottom 3rd of your weight loss goal, losing 1 pound a week is something to get excited about! I know it is the exercise and I feel pretty terrific about it. The other day I wore this pair of size 12(US) jeans that I actually bought when I couldn't pull them up past my hips. I got them at the local Salvation Army store and thought they were gorgeous. They're boot cut and the darkest blue denim and do not stretch. I thought I'd be the happiest kitty in the litter when I could wear a pair of jeans that doesn't stretch. And I am! They look gorgeous on me (or so I think). It was a great feeling. Now I need a new goal clothes item to shoot for. This time it will be a size 10 (Aus 12). I wear some size US-10, and Aus-12 clothes now, but not usually in pants. The reason behind that is I carry most of th...

I know I am behind the times and this is old news, but I just watched SUPER SIZE ME for the first time. It of course is not my first look at the fast food industry and the problems plaguing Americans, especially children that lead to obesity. I was a bit shocked at how much eating McDonalds for every meal in a month affected not only Morgan's weight and health, but his mood. Last year I read the book Fast Food Nation that really got my stomach turning. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it because even if you aren't on a diet it will radically change your mind about the fastfood industry, and may even help reduce your girth. This movie and book have both said what needs to be said, but will they alone make any difference to the ever-growing waistline of the world? I admittedly still eat fastfood from time to time. Most commonly if we need to eat out we choose Subway , which incidentally is not in the clear when it comes to the evils of the fastfood...

The prediction is that it is going to be 37 today. I didn't walk this morning because at 9am it was already too warm. The plan is to walk tonight after the sun goes down. Mr ralph will probably go with me. I found that my doctor's appointment was meant to be yesterday. I know, I have no idea how I did that. I have rescheduled the x-ray for this afternoon and the appointment with the surgeon is tomorrow morning. So I should be able to stop worrying tomorrow that is if it is good news. I feel all bloated today. Ate too much pasta last night. I didn't overdo it on my points, but pasta and rice always sit heavy. My weight is fluctuating. I am still obsessing over the scale on a daily basis. I can't seem to talk myself out of it. It is like I have to know if it has gone up or down every single morning. It really is stupid because I know that there are hundreds of reasons why weight fluctuates daily. Last night I went to the store looking for somethin...

A new study as reported in Yahoo! News shows how low-fat plans are better for those that want to keep their weight off for the long-haul. Dieters already have been turning away from Atkins-style plans as a long-term weight-control strategy, and the new study gives them more reason: Low-fat plans seem to work better at keeping weight off. "People who started eating more fat ... regained the most weight over time," said Suzanne Phelan, a Brown Medical School psychologist who presented results of the study Monday at a meeting of the North American Association for the Study of Obesity. Also according to the study, more than half Americans who have tried low-carb diets have given up. The American Institute for Cancer Research used these trends to issue a statement in September that urges dieters toward common a more common sense approach to weightloss: "Eat a balanced diet weighted toward vegetables and fruits, reduce portion sizes and increase physical acti...

Walking is so energizing! Yesterday afternoon I walked for 30 minutes before dinner and it felt so good that I woke up this morning and did another 30 minutes. As I plan to do it again this afternoon that will make an hour's worth of exercising for today. Yay me. I am so proud of myself for getting out there and moving my butt. I discovered a lovely snack that is only 2 points! I cut up a low-fat wholewheat wrap and sprayed it with canola oil and grilled it until it became crispy. I then dipped it in lowfat sourcream with garlic and chile sauce. Yum! It was a perfect snack. Anyway, I am still afraid of the doctor's appointment tomorrow. I hope that it is good news. I hope he says I can start weight training again. I want to start doing more cardio stuff than just walking. I was thinking that although the gym membership wasn't that great an idea since I wasn't going much at all after I started my job, that an occasional (maybe twice a week) class couldn't be that ex...

So far so good. I like being in my own home where I have complete control over what is in my house so I won't be tempted to eat snacks and other things that are high in fat and low in nutritional value. I hope that Wednesday I get good news and am told I am going back to work. It may sound weird, but work is good for my weightloss efforts. Since I always take my own food and the canteen is so expensive and not very tempting because I don't like spending money on food it is very easy for me to stay within my points range. Also, working keeps my mind busy. I sit there and sip on water or tea and if I am hungry usually chew gum or nibble on carrot sticks. At home it is just to easy to make several trips to the cupboard looking for something to eat because most of the day I am so bored. I haven't walked yet today because I had a headache this morning and we did our grocery shopping. I will walk this afternoon.