
Photos taken tonight.
I took on a personal challange to take a photo of myself as I am, in my pjs (seriously unattractive) and as full-length as I could organise on my own.
It is hard to share it with you, but I feel almost like I must.
Reality is I am an AU size 14.
I have photos (as you know) of me in my glory days of size 10. I hope to be there again one day, but I can't live in yesterday. I have to be here, today. I have to accept myself the way I am. It is okay to want to improve, to make myself healthier. It is okay to eat well, and exercise and lose weight for good reasons.
It is not okay to hate myself and hide.
"during the darkest times of the feminine unconscious, the uterine unconscious, Nature, feeds a woman's soul. Women describe that in the midst of their descent they are in the darkest dark and are touched by the brush of a wing tip and feel lightened. They feel an inner nourishing taking place, a spring of blessed water bursting forth over parched ground. . . from where they do not know. The spring does not solve suffering, but rather nourishes when nothing else is forthcoming. It is a manna in the desert. It is water from stones. It is food out of thin air. It quells the hunger so we can go on. And that is the whole point. . . to go on. To go on toward our knowing destiny"
taken from Clarissa Pinkola Estes Women Who Run With The Wolves Chapter 14, La Selva Subterranea: Initiation of the Underground Forest
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