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On Privacy

I've been keeping a journal online for almost 10 years now (with a few breaks). And even I am amazed at that length of time. Writing as well as reading are strong passions of mine.

When I first began blogging, or whatever you want to call, it wasn't the fad that it is now. I actually learned how to code basic html from a friend that funnily enough is still coding his own html (heptapod) and used notepad to edit my entries. I don't really miss the work that went into that. (obligatory thanks to blogger)

I have always been quite open and honest in my online ramblings and have from time to time offended readers, some who only know me online, and some that know me in person.

For instance I once had to move out of a place because the person who owned it had a sister that had said some racist things in my presence. I felt so strongly about it that talked about it in my journal not ever knowing that the sister or the owner of the place where I lived would ever read it. And I may have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for those pesky kids! (wink)

As you can imagine, I've also been on the receiving end of some offensive material from readers who took it upon themselves to pass judgment on me. I even had one guy predicting the end of my relationship, I think he even had a date!

I'm not here to complain about these things as I have taken them in stride and continue to share my thoughts with anyone who finds there way here because I find more value in doing so than in not.

On Sunday I was chatting with a girlfriend online who happens to live in the same city as me. I think we chatted for a minimum of 2 hours. Of course the two of us are like 2 peas in a pod. Not only are we the same star sign, but we once worked together and I lived with her for a while last year. We're so close that we sometimes finish each other's sentences.

So last night, I was at her place for dinner and her neighbour who she has been seeing off and on for a few months was there too. This past week they had a big blow up fight because she had spent Thurs night with me and he not knowing where she was assumed she was off with some other guy.

So I ask him how he is doing and he tells me that he has been logging into her account and had read our entire conversation from Sunday night.

I was aghast. I couldn't believe my ears.

He said, "She told you in the chat that I was upset at her because I thought she was out picking up men and that she was."
My immediate response was, "no she did not say that because she was with me!" He said, "She did so, I have it saved on my computer!"

And because if she said something like that it would have been a joke and he obviously didn't get it, I just shook my head at him. I again said, "She was not out looking for anyone or picking up anyone. She spent the night at my house."

He said, "Can this be secret squirrel, or are you going to tell her anyway?" I said, "You had better not do it again because you were reading MY personal things."

The thing with this blog is if I know you personally and you have the address, it is because I have invited you here to read. If you don't know me and you've followed a link or just stumbled on me, that's great too! I want you here. What I write here is only the things I want you to see. No matter how open or raw the message, I've chosen to share it.

But someone reading my personal conversations and emails? This is something I'm not comfortable with. It is a total invasion of my privacy.

He told me later that he had the right to read her emails because she had told him that she had nothing to hide. And that he didn't feel bad about it until I mentioned the thing about reading my personal things.

Seriously where do people like him draw the line? Where do you draw it? And really, since it is so easy to access someone else's email, what privacy do any of
us have?

A non-flickr account holder told me yesterday that they downloaded a program that enabled them to download my entire flickr stream (over 500 photos) onto their computer. Copyright doesn't stop people from taking anything we publish online, not really. But for me, the benefits of sharing my thoughts and photos far outweigh the negatives.

But I think going through someone's personal things that they have n0t decided to share with you is one of the most appalling offences. And I hope that unless they have no conscience, after doing such a thing they would experience massive guilt.

I couldn't even remember all the things I said to her in our chat. I know I was talking about the wedding I had been to on the weekend, and about random ongoing personal things. But of course things I would never say to him because they were personal and private and really I'm not his friend.

Their relationship was not going very well as it was and they have been bickering constantly from almost the first day. After dinner she asked him to leave and he said some ugly things that I won't repeat. Just before he left he yelled over the gate outside, "Thanks for that ms Ralph!"

Thanks indeed!

Comments

Wenchy said…
I agree with you... what I blog about is what I want to share, other forms of private commumication is just that, PRIVATE.
Thumper said…
Dude needs to be smacked upside the head. If you go behind someone's back to get into their business, then you know it's wrong.

No, not smacked upside the head...kicked in the nads. It's on thing if a person outs things out publicly--like a blog--then all bets are off. But IMs, PMs, and email are off limits...

Michele sent me to express my personal opinion that the guy is a total douche.

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