going forward

"So, here we are, in our mud clothes, walking down a road we've never seen, and with the mark of the wild nature glowing through us more and more. It is fair to say that this conjunctio is insisting on a striking revision of the old you. If you are here in the orchard, and there are these identifiable psychic aspects with you, there is no turning back--we are going forward."

It is always good to know you're moving forward, no matter how painful the path. I do see myself progressing, with momentary lapses of course. I just wish I didn't have to be in the mud clothes, but it is nice to know I'm being looked after whilst in this transition.

I stayed home on Saturday night and seems I drank enough red wine to make myself feel sick all day Sunday. I had the worst headache, you know the kind where it feels like when you move your head may implode? I threw up what looked like water with red splotches in it, but it was sour. Yes I know you wanted the full visual!

I don't recall having a hangover for at least a year so it took me by surprise. I usually know when to stop. I don't even remember how much I drank, but it was obviously too much, I'm guessing 1 1/2 bottles?

I even had a headache on morning too! Red wine headaches are the worst kind.

Work is quiet and it is really killing me to sit here and do nothing. So I'm actually writing my blog entry at work. Because I don't have access to internet directly at work I email myself the entries to put up later when I'm at home.


I have some issues with one of my flatmates and I feel so angry I can't even begin to think about looking at him, let alone talking to him. I know that I will eventually need to resolve it.

The thing is, he wants to be Queen Bee of the house, but he is going about it the wrong way. He decided to take it upon himself to organize for us a 'chore calendar'. Which I have no problem with.

Every Wednesday we eat together and we call this our family night. It is the perfect opportunity to bring up things like that and hold open discussions. Instead of doing that he decided that leaving a note in the kitchen was the way to go.

???

First of all I spend the least amount of time in the kitchen than any of the 3 of us so almost an entire month went by before I even noticed his 'note.' And then he sent me an email just before the end of the week leading up to my gf's wedding telling me that he would allow me that weekend off for the chore schedule because of the wedding. I was thinking, what chore schedule?

How nice of him? And so, this saturday when I went into the kitchen there was a note on the refrigerator for me:

ms. ralph please do not forget to clean the downstairs this weekend as you have already missed 2 weeks.

So I take a look around and begin to see that although there arent many dishes to be washed, the last few time the boys have cooked they have not cleaned after themselves. There was food/grease all over the place. It was on the stove top, on the oven glass, on the counter, on the wall, on the cabinets. I cleaned it all, and to top it off I had just gotten my nails done the night before! I was a little peeved as I don't cook as often as they do, but when I do, I clean after myself right then and there. In fact, when I do cook, I clean everything. Which is why I dont think I need to be on the chore schedule. But as I was saying...

After I finished that grueling task I then had to empty the bag of the vaccum cleaner because it had so much dirt in it it that it was about to split open. I emptied it in our back yard because I assumed since it rains a lot these days I thought it would just get washed away.

Afterwards I thought I'd leave him a note so I did:

I've cleaned all of the kitchen, including stove, cabinents, walls, and floor.

The next day he left me another note under mine. But first he put a little check mark next to my note, what grading me?!?! and then said:

Did someone empty the dirt out of the vacuum cleaner in the back or did it just magically appear there?

MAGICALLY APPEAR??? Was he trying to be funny? I have a sense of humour, trust me, but I did not laugh. I was enraged. It took me less than 5 minutes to pick it up with the dust pan and stick it in the bin we have in the back for leaves etc.

But I now refuse to speak to him and am not going to attend family night this week either.

I can understand that he didn't like the dirt back there, but he had to know it was me and he could have spoken to me about it nicely, not leave a nasty note on the refrigerator. We are not in gradeschool!


I dont know what happened to the blogs I used to read as I had a blogroll but lost the html for it as well as the login. I've tried all my alternate email addresses and can't get into it so if you are an old friend please comment with your blog address as I want to find all of you again.

Calling all html coders?!? does anyone know the right code to fix my comments so that they don't always appear on the front page?

Quote above from Clarissa Pinkola Estes Women Who Run With The Wolves