livingforrecovery

When you begin to suspect it is time to get new walking shoes, do not wait for a rock to fall from the sky on your head before you do it. I walked for a cumulative 1 hour and 30 minutes yesterday. I so rock! Of course I am tres proud of my accomplishments. I decided to see if I could walk to the bus stop near my physio's office before work, and then decided to do it again after work. It was during the walk home that my feet started hurting. On my right foot one of my toes was seriously killing, and on my left foot I developed a blister. I knew I needed new shoes! I had noticed the soles wearing down a few months ago. I announced to mr. ralph as I walked through the door, "It is time for new shoes, my feet hurt! And by the way I've walked for an hour and a half today!" [had to throw in that for the effect] So I plopped myself on the sofa and took off my shoes flipping them over to discover that right where my little toe was hurting is a hole! I was shocked to s...

Before the epiphany I had earlier this week I would judge how good my week was by what my weight was at the end of it. As of this morning I still weight 71 kilos, but this has been one hell of a terrific week. I am walking again, and enjoying it! When I woke up this morning I went for a 50 minute walk and that is totally amazing for a Sunday. I exercised every day except Saturday, and I had reasons. I went to a hen's night on Friday night and stayed up mega late chatting. I needed the rest. I over-ate yesterday, mainly because I was tired and couldn't be bothered. I had a big think about this whole weekend rubbish eating thing on my walk this morning. You can't fix the world in a day! I have to start planning ahead for the weekend BEFORE it gets here so I can control the eating/drinking better. And of course if I keep up the exercise like I have been doing since Wednesday, there is no way that I won't lose weight naturally. It will happen. I will be seeing 65 a...

This is the most hilarious picture EVER. I've been laughing my arse off. I love the look on Hugo's [the ginger cat] face. In one of the comments the owner said, "Usually Hugo (the ginger cat) is the loser in battles. He was so proud that he won this one! They even posed for the picture!" Hahaha. I ate too much last night because we went to a buffet style restaurant. I'm not that worried about this. I walked yesterday and plan to walk again today. My butt, abs, back, and shoulders are all sore from my palates class.

It was more than a light bulb moment. It was awesome. I have to brag about myself because there is no one else to do it for me. As you can imagine when I saw 71 kilos on my scale two days in a row I wasn't feeling all that great. On came a montage of debilitating head talk. I don't know if anyone else is aware of their head talk, but I am really awful to myself. I call myself a fat cow, fatty, lazy, disgusting, etc. The list goes on and on. I catch myself doing it and sometimes can actually stop it, but once the words are said [in my head of course] their damage is done. I had a physio appointment on Wed. afternoon and an appointment with R. afterwards. I usually schedule them back to back so that I'm not running around every single day of the week. I had seen that they have one of those really expensive special scales that tells you your body fat percentage etc. I decided to get on this thing and find out all the dirt on myself. I couldn't believe the results. ...

You may have noticed that I changed the 70 to the left to 71. I don't know how it happened, but I actually gained weight this week. What is happening to me? I don't know what is going on, but the scale did say 71 two days in a row. Yes, I am at the end of my TOM and that could contribute to some of it, but a whole kilo? I looked at my calorie count from this week and I went over 1500 only 2 days, Friday and Saturday. Although I did much better this weekend than last, I still struggled with eating more on my off days than during the week. Another reason I had a horrific week was the heat. We had 4 days of over 40C in a row. Now that is just wrong. I can't handle heat very well. I did go for a walk on Saturday and when I came home thought I was going to die from heat exhaustion. Not good at all. I almost declared this week a no-weigh week due to my TOM but have decided to take it as it comes. So I weigh 71 today. Excuse my language but that number really scares the ...

It is common knowledge that the collective events of our past help shape who we are. Some of these events are forgotten, others burned into our memories forever. I'll never forget the day I told my parents I knew about the abuse. I had recollection for a long time before I told them. I dreaded the conversation because I feared the reaction. I didn't really want to have these memories, I didn't want this to have happened to me. It was much easier for me to not acknowledge the past. I had sought counseling a few times. When the memories first surfaced went to a catholic counseling service. They didn't charge very much and had to keep it confidential even though I still lived at home with my parents. After I started university I stopped going to see the nun, but before long found college life overwhelming and began to see the free counselor on campus. I had a habit of seeing her for a few weeks and then stopping only to start again when another catastrophe happened....

Three days back on a healthy eating plan and the scale is not going anywhere. Disgusting. I can't believe it! I can't believe I weighed myself this morning either. I know better than to do this to myself. One of the main things R. (the psychologist) said to me that I can't stop thinking about is that experts are now saying the healthiest amount of weight to loose is 1-2 pounds a month. That is under a kilo a month! Freaking A! Unbelievable isn't it? I used to beat myself up if I didn't loose that in a week. She also told me she thinks that I should aim to be 65 instead of 58 kilos. I'm still thinking that over. But somewhere The_Scale_Gods are laughing at me. You should never weigh yourself this much kids. It is not good for you. I have started using the free SparkPeople food and exercise tracker. It is similar to some other ones out there you have to pay for. So far the only thing I've tracked is food and I am keeping under the recommended ca...

I am so unhappy with my result for this week. I started out really gung-ho and undid all the work on the weekend. I still weigh 70 kilos. I want so much to get past this roadblock. I know that I am sabotaging myself. The main focus of my appointment tonight with R. was talking about this issue. Why is it so hard to loose more? This is what I am thinking about. A lot of ideas were swirled around. I need to stick to my plan and especially not let the weekend eating get away from me.

I worked hard all week. I had a great week with very good eating! I honestly did. But I am starting to rethink the Monday weigh-in now. I know I did it that way to try to make me be consistent and eat well on the weekend, but I had such a bad day yesterday that I am worried all my hard work will be undone. I am nowhere near my scale so I can't find out the horrible truth. I am blown away with all the wonderful comments on my new design! A few people have questioned the lizard, and I have no real reason except that I thought it looked good. I was going to put a turtle, you know slow and steady wins the race, but the turtle didn't look as good as the lizard. So there you go. What reasoning skills I have! I am seriously thinking of rejoining Weight Watchers. But at the moment we are soooo poor. We may not even be able to buy our groceries unless we put them on credit. I want to make some necklaces to take around to local shops to see if they'd be interested in selling...

So I've done some tweaking to the code. I now think it looks better in Firefox than IE because IE is not recognising the best font. It is too late right now for me to concern myself with this. At least most of us can actually read it. Also I have to create a new weight chart that is compatible with this design. Thanks a lot for the input. Firefox users, is it better now?

I stayed up late creating this new look and today I am going to pay for it. I want your honest feedback on the redesign. If you don't want to leave a comment please email me at suckingitin at g mail dot com. The idea of the banner is that you are being given free movie tickets to my journey with weight-loss, and that popcorn is airpopped and light [because I say it is]! I am so tired my eyes sting! I have my appointment with an occupational physician today and I'm scared. I am shell-shocked from the other specialists I've seen. After that I have my physio appointment and my psychologist appointment to finish the day off. Told you it was a big day. I've been eating almost completely to plan for the past 3 days. I started off with the first 3 days being lower in kilojoules than needed so I could kickstart my body. I snuck onto the scale earlier and the commitment has paid off. I've almost lost a kilo already! Let's hope my motivation doesn't wane today ...

What do you do when your motivation meter is sitting at 0? You read blogs! I am so inspired by all of you. Normally January is a huge weight-loss month for me and I've already let too much of it go by without doing a cotton-picking thing. I can't expect the number on the scale to move if I am not willing to put in the effort can I? Last night I spoke to a long-time friend who I seemed to have forgotten has this blog address and he told me how he has noticed a huge shift in my attitude since I've been on Pr0zac. Of course he said it has been a good thing. I think he is right. I am less obsessed about my weight and my depression seems to be dissipating. But I also have noticed I can't seem to get fired up like I could in the past either. I don't know if I can attribute that to the drugs or not though. So what can I do? The beautiful LMS has offered to send me the spreadsheet of "no count" foods the new WW program is offering to help me get started. ...

I have a new obsession: Stuff on my cat . An old friend of mine told me about it and thought I'd like it. He was right. I've already submitted a few photos of Buckley. I still weigh 70 kilos. My heart has not been 100% in it this week, but I will get there. I'm planning to either go back to Weight Watchers or just do a partner diet thing with mr. ralph. I had so much fun with Airlie I couldn't stop talking about her for most of the day. Have any of you tried Coke Zero yet? I don't like it. It tastes a lot like PepsiMax, which I hate. I am a diet coke girl through and through. Hope your new year started out better than mine. I will get on track this week.

Today I had the most fantastic day. I met Airlie and we had a great time. I don't think we stopped talking for long except to take a breath, and to drink our coffee! She also got to meet mr. ralph before she had to be on her way. I even have a picture to prove it! We ended up asking one of the girls behind the counter at Illy to take the photo because we sucked at taking it ourselves. I love her to pieces. She is the most amazing woman. I'm really sad that she doesn't live closer, but we will be going to visit her sometime this year since she graciously invited us!

When you eat a lot of garbage, you eventually will put on weight. The denial is over. I weigh 70 kilos. Talk about a reality check. That is just 2 kilos under what I weighed at this time last year. I think I should be pleased about one thing, I didn't gain in 2005! I can wear the same clothes I wore last summer. This is a good thing, but 2006 has got to be different. I'm glad everyone agrees with me on that point. Also, welcome back Tree .

Well. It has finally begun. How did I spend the first day of 2006? In bed, mostly. And I ate horribly. I was recovering from all the booze I had the night before. I had a perfect excuse. I was lazy and ate McDonalds for dinner. I felt completely horrible afterwards. It was actually the ONLY meal I've eaten from there in over a year. And it was my first meal of the new year? Splendid! What does that mean? Well I have some thinking to do. I want to change things around before it gets any worse. I have go step on the scale. We have to get a starting weight for 2006. I have to know where I stand when I go into battle. It is not just a battle over the will. It is an emotional battle. It is a war waged on fat. I will not let evil prevail. |smile| There will not be any resolutions this year because I will simply do what I know is right for my body. We all know what those things are: Exercise. Eating lots of fruit, vegetables, whole grains, and lean meat. Sleeping enoug...