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Kicked when down

I just received an email from my friend basically telling me she believes I am sorry for what I wrote, but has decided that she wants a break from our friendship. She feels really positive right now and is sorry that I am "down in the dumps," and wishes me the best.

Down in the dumps?

I'm trying to understand her actions by telling myself that she simply does not understand depression or how it affects people.

I will be okay. I will make it through this because I have mr. ralph, and he is the most amazing man in the world. He will never leave me.

I wanted to write about this, but now I don't really know what else to say. I miss my home and my family so much right now.

Comments

Denise said…
Sweetie, I'm so sorry about your friend but it does sound as though she's just not equipped to help you through this and that's not a knock on her, it's just the way it is. Is there any way you could join a support group for depression? I think the interactions (as long as they're moderated by a licensed facilitator) could be really helpful for you. (Just a thought!)
Ms Gigglepuss said…
Awww, I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Dealing with someone's depression can be pretty darn tough...my parents even checked out on me for a bit. I'm in group therapy right now with a mix of depression and other mood disorder sufferers has helped me quite a bit. They know where I'm coming from. I definitely recommend seeing if there is something along that line available in your area. I'm so glad that you do have your husband for support!
Anonymous said…
I know you have been told that you are "depressed" but heck.. YOU HAVE REASONS!! Who would not be depressed with continual pain? That would wear down the best of us and I can't even imagine what it must be like for you. I'm sad that you are away from your family but Mr Ralph sounds just like my lovely partner. I so hope you feel better soon, in every respect *hugs*
Sooz said…
{{{hugs}}} You don't need friends like that!
Emma said…
I can only imagine that she has no idea what "depression" actually means. Not "Damn, I wish that size 10 fitted", not "bugger, missed the bus again" or even "I hate being constantly broke", but real, deep down, clinical depression that requires medical and psychological treatment. You can't turn it on and off; you can't just "get over it". This woman might mean well but she has no clue. I must say I only read your blog occasionally but I couldn't let you suffer without saying something. I hope you get the help you need, and I am glad you have Mr Ralph. I can't believe what you have had to go through and I am amazed that you are coping as well as you are.
Shannin said…
I don't think she realizes exactly what you are going through. I agree with Denise - can you get a recommendation from your psych for a support group? I think that would at least get you in the company of people who fully understand what you are going through emotionally.
Jocelyn said…
I cant really say anything here to make you feel better about this, but I am really sorry your friend felt unable to support you right now. I just hope you can find support in other ways from other people. Wishing you good things, Joc.
Anonymous said…
True Friends are there for each other in good times and bad
True Friends are there for each other when feeling both happy and sad
True Friends encourage, support and will always be there
No questions need to be asked...because they do care

True Friends are very rare and so hard to find
So when you do find one...always be kind

True Friends always remember are like a true gift
They'll always be there when you need a good lift

True Friends have hearts that are both good and pure
When feeling down...they give hugs...it's a good cure

True Friends no matter what will always stick together
And they will always love each other forever and ever


(Please try to write at least one thing that's positive in your next post.. please!)
Anonymous said…
just a thought... but have you considered getting a new job? surely there is something else you can do? yes i understand you need to work, but there are hundreds of occupations out there... and given you're married to an aussie you should be entitled to work in any occupation you like in australia... there are so many options... look outside the box and see what you can find... maybe you could take a break, go away somewhere relaxing and beautiful to get some perspective on your life, and realise there is hope and more to life :D
p.s- don't be too hard on your friend, depression is hard to understand and people say the wrong things without meaning too, just like what you wrote about your friend you didn't mean as you wrote, it's probably the same in reverse.
Anonymous said…
oh man. what a self absorbed ass i am. i haven't been by in so long and had no idea you've been feeling so drummy. i am so sorry you're feeling...so crummy! but you know what? feel it. let it go through you and then, kick it's ass right the hell out when you're ready. you won't feel better until the time is right. and that time will come. promise.

big fat huge hugs all the way from canada!!!

and you know, it is hard to be around someone who is always down even if they have every reason to be down so maybe yes, you might lose a few friends but i bet you anything the ones worth keeping will still be around when your sun starts shining again.

and me? i'll still be there which come on, that's got to make everything alllll better, right?

;)

and lynda is right, constant pain is depressing. of course you're depressed. geez!
What a bunch of ass! It is not your job to be "up" for anyone. Her emotional security is not your responsibility. You feel what you need to feel, and let her work out her own shit.

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