Skip to main content

Dark Day

Yesterday was probably one of the lowest days emotionally that I have had in a long time.

It wasn't that the lawyer made me feel bad, but talking about my health with her made it painfully clear that I am going to be like this for the rest of my life. Usually people develop degenerative neck disease when they are seniors. I am the lucky one that has it at the age of 30.

After I walked around the city for a while, and put some cash down on the brown dress I went home and crawled into my bed.

I can report that the pr0zac isn't really helping. Plus I broke one of the rules by drinking an entire bottle of wine last night.

Comments

Denise said…
Do follow the guidelines as far as alcohol consumption goes because you can get really nasty side effects. (I am a Class A worrier, so don't get made when I nag at you, OK?)

Wish I could make things better, but you're definitely in my thoughts!
Ms. Lori said…
Oh, I'm so, so sorry you're going through all of this...You don't deserve it.

Please remember that you are stronger than most. Take pride in that fact. The days seem dark now, but I know you've seen darker. Take care, and wait for the daylight -- it will come.

(((HUGS)))

Popular posts from this blog

A trip down memory lane

Hello to all of you all of you coming via Michele , thanks for stopping by and I only hope it was worth the trip over. I began reading through the questions on the Slimmer of The Year application today. Of course there are so many things I want to include, but I can't possibly write everything I want to or they will be getting a novel. When I started thinking of how long I have been overweight and the reasons I struggled for so long with food and weight issues a lot of memories came back to me. I've been challanged by my weight for most of my life. Granted some of that time I only thought I was fat when I really wasn't. The point is that I have been fat inside my head for as long as I can remember. One of the most shameful and embarrassing moments was when I was 15 and some of the boys in my class thought it was funny to sing "thunder, thunder, thunder thighs hooooooo!" when they saw me coming to the tune of the cartoon "Thunder Cats." That experie...

Life happens

I wish I could tell you guys that everything is on track and that the reason I have not been writing is because life has just been too good. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Winter is generally a crap time of year for me. I thought that this one I could get a handle on it and not have it get the best of me. I was wrong. Exercise? Who me? Eat healthy? Um no. Last night I wanted chips so mr. ralph went out at midnight and got us chips and dip and we sat in our pj's watching the England and Portugal quarter final stuffing our faces. Am I painting a pretty picture? For the most part I eat well. I do. I do not stock my house with these kinds of foods. I have learned that because I am an emotional eater, it is better if I don't. But mr. ralph is too easy. Where I won't go out and buy something at midnight, if I ask him too he will go for me. Yes, I do believe we are in a co-dependent relationship, even where food is concerned. We both eat when we feel emotional....

Unbelievable results

You may have noticed that I changed the 70 to the left to 71. I don't know how it happened, but I actually gained weight this week. What is happening to me? I don't know what is going on, but the scale did say 71 two days in a row. Yes, I am at the end of my TOM and that could contribute to some of it, but a whole kilo? I looked at my calorie count from this week and I went over 1500 only 2 days, Friday and Saturday. Although I did much better this weekend than last, I still struggled with eating more on my off days than during the week. Another reason I had a horrific week was the heat. We had 4 days of over 40C in a row. Now that is just wrong. I can't handle heat very well. I did go for a walk on Saturday and when I came home thought I was going to die from heat exhaustion. Not good at all. I almost declared this week a no-weigh week due to my TOM but have decided to take it as it comes. So I weigh 71 today. Excuse my language but that number really scares the ...