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Long Weekend

I still haven't got my shit together, but that probably doesn't come as a big surprise. I spend half my time counting WW points and the other half just eating whatever the hell I want. This is what in the south one would call a "half-assed" diet attempt.

I believe Beckie to be right on the money. I don't see a payoff, at least not an immediate one.

I had a look at some photos taken of myself yesterday. The truth is the only part of my body I cringe when I look at is my arms. I actually wish I could do some weight training on them, but I can't. The problems with my spine in my neck prevent me from doing anything. If I keep up my regular strength exercises given to me by my physio, I will eventually get to where I can, but I don't think it will be in time for sculpted arms this summer.

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I also wish I could start skipping again. I miss it. But I can't do anything like that, I can't even jog. It sucks. Walking just doesn't get the heart rate up as much as I think I need to push my body harder.

I've always had large, jiggly arms, it is a family trait. These arms actually look good compared to how they were at my highest weight of course. I never work short sleeved shirts or tank tops before about a year ago.

As for this weekend, I'm sick. Mr. ralph gave me a throat infection that he has been suffering with and I haven't felt like doing anything. I did get my hair highlighted on Saturday morning, and I love it. Can you see it in the pictures? What do you think? I was thinking of going more blonde as time goes on. I need to do it in stanges.

Ash and Bec


We went to the McClaren Vale yesterday with Scotty and his friend to do some wine tasting and the day really wiped me out. I think I am on the upswing though. Whether or not this will help me on the weight-loss front, I don't know.

Comments

Bel said…
I have just discovered your journal and just wanted to say what an inspiration you are. I know you probably don't feel like it at the moment but I know you will get there!

PS. Looking good in those jeans by the way!
Anonymous said…
Wow, you look so great!! Think back to when you weighed over 100kg, did you think you would be in jeans (and a belt!!) with a fitted top, looking so damn hot?!
Anonymous said…
um, why are you on a diet? why are you counting points? why are you still acting like a fat girl?

rebeka, i'm going to be brutally honest with you which i know is so unlike me ;)

here it is. are you ready?

STOP FRICKIN' DIETING AND STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP.

we all have things about ourselves we don't like. you it's the arms, me it's the belly. no matetr how small i am i am always worried about my belly. it's my problem area. in my eyes. but you can't be counting ww points over your arms until the day that you die. it's ILLOGICAL.

you are clinging to this way of being and i wonder why. you're seeming more and more like you're sick of it and ready to give it up.

and here something you may not know: people who lose weight don't diet forever. you can go back to eating like a regular person. people do eat you know. you've changed your lifestyle. you don't have to watch every bite that goes in your mouth.

you need to change to MAINTENANCE mode and get out of LOSING WEIGHT mode.

that is the thing.

rebeka, i adore you. i hate to see you stuck this way. you're ready for the NEXt step, have been for ages. maybe you just don't know what it looks like or maybe you're scared to stop being the girl trying to lose weight because then the weight will come back?

it won't. get over it. it's gone forever. aww. won't be missed!

you know me, i say what i think. i think you need to get over having been heavy. you're not heavy now. live like the person you are today. it's not easy but you've had time. move on. say good bye to heavy you. she's not coming back.

maintaining weight loss is waaaaaaaaaay easier than losing weight. you're THERE. live it.
Really well said honestytrain.

We all DO have our demons. We all DO have certain spots on our pbdy we wish we could change.

The only comment I could come up with after reading this today was.... "be at peace with your body".

The first pic, showing your arms is stunning. Natural. THIN, beautiful you. That's you. HELLO, have you SEEN your waist??

Let's pick the battle here. You physically can not do weight training. Jiggly arms is a family trait. So you can only do as much as you can without getting plastic surgery to remove them. They look absolutely fine/ normal/ healthy to me.

Your body looks amazing through my eyes and Im sure it looks terrific through Mr Ralphs eyes also.

I'm really pleased to hear a little bit of self love shining through your words Rebeka. It is gorgeous to see.

Lovin' the new hair colour!! I love the casual extra length you have also. very feminine!
Jocelyn said…
You are looking great, and your hair is gorgeous. I get what you are saying about bits that you are not happy with, and I hate to tell you this, but we all have them. The funny thing is you hate your arms, but when I look at your pictures I dont even notice them, they just look normal to me. Be a bit kinder to yourself, you have worked so hard to get where you are and you have done a fantastic job, if you were your best friend you would be saying much nicer things to yourself about yourself. Try it for a day. :-) Joc.

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