Remember how I wanted to change my eating habits on Saturdays so I would stop feeling so bad going into the week and maybe, just maybe have better losses? Well it will have to wait another week now because yesterday I ate an entire Snitzel, with mushroom gravy, and chips. For afternoon tea, I had half a box of Cadbury's Roses. Dinner thankfully wasn't that bad, I had 2 slices of toast with a poached egg, but along the side I had 4 glasses of wine.
I'm in the shittiest mood ever.
The CT scan was scheduled by my regular doctor (the semi-retired one I mentioned earlier) and she saw me again Saturday after the test was done. You see my surgeon ordered one for the 6th of September, but because I was in so much pain and wouldn't see me, we did what we had to do.
As it turns out his fusion is fucking beautiful. Gorgeous work Doc! You're an absolute brilliant surgeon, a bit shite with people, but the man has steady hands! Got to give it up for the C-man.
But low and behold [drum roll please] on the left side around c-5 (if memory serves me) I have another bulge.
Yes you heard it right. Another bulge.
Of course my doctor tried her best to keep me calm and from going into hysterics in her office. Because what in the fuck am I meant to do now? How does this happen to one person?
She explained that maybe I've been over compensating since the other injury and if the disc was already worn (as I remember the great surgeon said I had more than one disc that was worn way back in the beginning) then it probably was from over usage.
Her advice was to keep my next appointment with the arsehole and please remember to tell him to cancel his CT scan because we have one now, and to find out what he will recommend.
She doesn't think I will need surgery. "A lot of people have these and after a while on medication it gets better."
Deep breath. "That was what I was told last time."
"Yes dear, but last time it was a lot worse. This one is not very bad and is only bulging a small amount. You're feeling the nerve root being aggravated, but once it settles down you won't feel that anymore."
So what do I have to do? I have to go back to my shite job on Monday, the place that all probability is causing my spine to fall apart.
Great! Happy Days!
You may have already realised that my eating is out the window. I haven't put anything in my mouth today yet except for some coffee.
I Really Want To Get These Feelings Under Control.
But it is hard.
After I got home I sat on my couch and cried. My husband wants to help. He took me op-shopping because he knows I like it, but at the moment I don't know what to do with myself. I'm grumpy and all I want to do is cry. I just can't take it anymore.
I wanted this to be over.
I don't even know what I am doing that is causing this shit to happen to me.
And I can't see a chiropractor, at least I don't think, because I beleive they specialise in bones, and my problem is my discs. I will call the physio that was assigned to me at work and see if she would mind setting up an appointment with me to discuss if there is anything at all I can do to help/prevent this from getting worse.
That is all.
Cheerio.
I'm in the shittiest mood ever.
The CT scan was scheduled by my regular doctor (the semi-retired one I mentioned earlier) and she saw me again Saturday after the test was done. You see my surgeon ordered one for the 6th of September, but because I was in so much pain and wouldn't see me, we did what we had to do.
As it turns out his fusion is fucking beautiful. Gorgeous work Doc! You're an absolute brilliant surgeon, a bit shite with people, but the man has steady hands! Got to give it up for the C-man.
But low and behold [drum roll please] on the left side around c-5 (if memory serves me) I have another bulge.
Yes you heard it right. Another bulge.
Of course my doctor tried her best to keep me calm and from going into hysterics in her office. Because what in the fuck am I meant to do now? How does this happen to one person?
She explained that maybe I've been over compensating since the other injury and if the disc was already worn (as I remember the great surgeon said I had more than one disc that was worn way back in the beginning) then it probably was from over usage.
Her advice was to keep my next appointment with the arsehole and please remember to tell him to cancel his CT scan because we have one now, and to find out what he will recommend.
She doesn't think I will need surgery. "A lot of people have these and after a while on medication it gets better."
Deep breath. "That was what I was told last time."
"Yes dear, but last time it was a lot worse. This one is not very bad and is only bulging a small amount. You're feeling the nerve root being aggravated, but once it settles down you won't feel that anymore."
So what do I have to do? I have to go back to my shite job on Monday, the place that all probability is causing my spine to fall apart.
Great! Happy Days!
You may have already realised that my eating is out the window. I haven't put anything in my mouth today yet except for some coffee.
I Really Want To Get These Feelings Under Control.
But it is hard.
After I got home I sat on my couch and cried. My husband wants to help. He took me op-shopping because he knows I like it, but at the moment I don't know what to do with myself. I'm grumpy and all I want to do is cry. I just can't take it anymore.
I wanted this to be over.
I don't even know what I am doing that is causing this shit to happen to me.
And I can't see a chiropractor, at least I don't think, because I beleive they specialise in bones, and my problem is my discs. I will call the physio that was assigned to me at work and see if she would mind setting up an appointment with me to discuss if there is anything at all I can do to help/prevent this from getting worse.
That is all.
Cheerio.
Comments
See if you can get a referral - it can't hurt.
I know it's apples and oranges but hey, like Shannin I think it can't hurt to explore it.
Now missy! You've had it tough, and you've emotional eaten. I have absolutely nothing but my sympathy for you.
I do need to pull you up on one thing though, you possibly didnt mean it. Your 'good eating' will have to wait another week because of a bad day yesterday? Where on earth did you get that logic from.
I know you of all people would definately cheer and encourage other women along. Get them back on the horse so to speak.
One of the most dangerous habits to get into is to set a time limit of 'free/ unaccountable' eating time. Such as 'good eating starts next week'. Please don't do this. It will NOT make your emotions better and it certainly will not do anything for your self esteem and weight loss efforts so far.
Unless, of course, you meant that next week was Monday which is today? (in which case, disregard the last paragraph)
Rebeka, Mr Ralph is right in trying to get you out and about and get your mind off things. Bless 'im.
Emotional eating won't take away your pain babe. I'm living proof that it just takes you back to square one and makes you feel worse.
Here's to finding a permanent solution to your pain.
*squeeze*