So I gave her the plant and the card, but I placed them on her desk while she was getting her morning coffee. By the way, the ride to work was excruciating. She onlu spole to me in one word responses. I thought if the gift didn't soften her up, I would definitely be better off on the bus.
About 5 minutes later I hear her calling my name from behind at my desk and I turned around to see her standing there with the plant in her hand. She set it down on my desk saying, "I cannot accept this." I was more than a little stunned and said, "What? Why? Did you read my card?" And she said, "Yes, and I accept the card but I cannot accept the gift becaise it makes me feel as if you are trying to buy me off."
There I was, still with puffy eyes from crying too much, staring back at her and again saying, "But did you read my card?" She walked away saying "Thank you, but I accept it."
Then one of my joyful teammates came in saying "Oh what I beautiful plant!", but then she saw my face. She came over to give me a hug and few more tears escaped my eyes.
I gave the plant to Judi. She loves it. It is one of those new hybrid pointsettas that is blue and yellow. It is so gorgeous, but I'd probably kill it if I kept it. It was meant as a peace offering, it needed a good home.
So what does that mean? I've thought about it a lot. And most of your comments are spot on. She does obviously have problems that are more far-reaching than my oversleeping for one day. She has probably tried to justify this to herself by saying that I am ungrateful. I'm sure she has told all of her work-mates that I was late everyd ay etc. Who knows? I've decided to get a tough skin on this one because, you know what?, I don't like any of those catty women anyway. It is the reason I stopped eating lunch with them ages ago. It was the reason I was the first to raise my hand to move teams when the offer came.
Was it right that I apologized for something that I had no need to? Probably not. Beckie from last entry's comments was also right that I allowed her to have control over my emotions. I am sure that is what bothered me the most, that she could make me feel so awful when she is the shitty person. One of the traits I've developed since my sexual abuse is that I absolutely hate being controlled by anyone in anyway. And yesterday I think what upset me the most was I felt like I had given her control to do that.
How did I end it? Well I wrote a polite email telling her that I didn't think there was anything I could do to make her see how I felt and that as I am an imposition to her that I should find another way to and from work. What was her response? "I completely agree." The moron agreed that she didn't want me to ride with her anymore.
I think it was something a long time coming. She only kept me on as a car-pooler to keep her spot. At our work if you don't carpool, or pay a shitload of money you don't get an assigned parking space and parking is really shitty.
A few weeks ago she found someone else she can pick up and has sense decided I am dispensable. That's fine. In truth she was really just a more convenience way for me to get to work. I've accepted my fate that with public transport since I am the one that has decided against getting an Australian driver's license. I don't want to drive to my work every day anyway. I'd have to find a parking space.
I've already come up with a huge list of positives. First of all I no longer have to listen to her drivel. I constantly had to put up with her narrow mindedness and be polite when I didn't want to be. I am free of her smell. I'm not just trying to be rude to someone who has hurt me, but she is a very large woman (probably 200 kilos or more) and often wore the same clothes 2 to 3 days a week and often in the car, especially in summer, stunk.
Also when I began riding with her was when I gave up my gym membership since I had a direct ride home I no longer took the bus from the city that went to my gym. Now I have an excuse to rejoin and get back into it. I also have an excuse to get off the bus early on sunny days and walk the rest of the way home. The gym bag is coming out of the grave and carrying my tennis shoes to work with me! Hooray!
As for the way she thinks of me, or the way she is conveying me to the crowd of catty followers? I do feel bad about that, but there is nothing I can do to prevent it. If they wanted to know the truth they'd ask me, if they knew me at all they would know that I am a good person. I am a much better person than anyone who gossips behind someone's back and then smiles a "hello" only when they walk past their desk.
So that's it. End of story. Hopefully I can successfully erase her from my mind. I didn't tell her what a bitch I thought she was or how horrible a person she is, but I really don't think I need to. If she doesn't already feel bad there is really nothing I can say to do that, and as well she is not worth my time. Let karma bite her in the bum.
About 5 minutes later I hear her calling my name from behind at my desk and I turned around to see her standing there with the plant in her hand. She set it down on my desk saying, "I cannot accept this." I was more than a little stunned and said, "What? Why? Did you read my card?" And she said, "Yes, and I accept the card but I cannot accept the gift becaise it makes me feel as if you are trying to buy me off."
There I was, still with puffy eyes from crying too much, staring back at her and again saying, "But did you read my card?" She walked away saying "Thank you, but I accept it."
Then one of my joyful teammates came in saying "Oh what I beautiful plant!", but then she saw my face. She came over to give me a hug and few more tears escaped my eyes.
I gave the plant to Judi. She loves it. It is one of those new hybrid pointsettas that is blue and yellow. It is so gorgeous, but I'd probably kill it if I kept it. It was meant as a peace offering, it needed a good home.
So what does that mean? I've thought about it a lot. And most of your comments are spot on. She does obviously have problems that are more far-reaching than my oversleeping for one day. She has probably tried to justify this to herself by saying that I am ungrateful. I'm sure she has told all of her work-mates that I was late everyd ay etc. Who knows? I've decided to get a tough skin on this one because, you know what?, I don't like any of those catty women anyway. It is the reason I stopped eating lunch with them ages ago. It was the reason I was the first to raise my hand to move teams when the offer came.
Was it right that I apologized for something that I had no need to? Probably not. Beckie from last entry's comments was also right that I allowed her to have control over my emotions. I am sure that is what bothered me the most, that she could make me feel so awful when she is the shitty person. One of the traits I've developed since my sexual abuse is that I absolutely hate being controlled by anyone in anyway. And yesterday I think what upset me the most was I felt like I had given her control to do that.
How did I end it? Well I wrote a polite email telling her that I didn't think there was anything I could do to make her see how I felt and that as I am an imposition to her that I should find another way to and from work. What was her response? "I completely agree." The moron agreed that she didn't want me to ride with her anymore.
I think it was something a long time coming. She only kept me on as a car-pooler to keep her spot. At our work if you don't carpool, or pay a shitload of money you don't get an assigned parking space and parking is really shitty.
A few weeks ago she found someone else she can pick up and has sense decided I am dispensable. That's fine. In truth she was really just a more convenience way for me to get to work. I've accepted my fate that with public transport since I am the one that has decided against getting an Australian driver's license. I don't want to drive to my work every day anyway. I'd have to find a parking space.
I've already come up with a huge list of positives. First of all I no longer have to listen to her drivel. I constantly had to put up with her narrow mindedness and be polite when I didn't want to be. I am free of her smell. I'm not just trying to be rude to someone who has hurt me, but she is a very large woman (probably 200 kilos or more) and often wore the same clothes 2 to 3 days a week and often in the car, especially in summer, stunk.
Also when I began riding with her was when I gave up my gym membership since I had a direct ride home I no longer took the bus from the city that went to my gym. Now I have an excuse to rejoin and get back into it. I also have an excuse to get off the bus early on sunny days and walk the rest of the way home. The gym bag is coming out of the grave and carrying my tennis shoes to work with me! Hooray!
As for the way she thinks of me, or the way she is conveying me to the crowd of catty followers? I do feel bad about that, but there is nothing I can do to prevent it. If they wanted to know the truth they'd ask me, if they knew me at all they would know that I am a good person. I am a much better person than anyone who gossips behind someone's back and then smiles a "hello" only when they walk past their desk.
So that's it. End of story. Hopefully I can successfully erase her from my mind. I didn't tell her what a bitch I thought she was or how horrible a person she is, but I really don't think I need to. If she doesn't already feel bad there is really nothing I can say to do that, and as well she is not worth my time. Let karma bite her in the bum.
Comments
Joc :-)
Babe - this is the BEST news ever! HELLO GYM!
I used to LOVE taking the bus home because I could pop my headphones on and listen to a bit of music, or I would read a book and completely unwind before I got home. This dog has given you a gift on a platter.
And sweetie, if she is 200kgs plus, she has major issues.
I wonder, did you ever speak of your weight loss success on your way to work? Reckon she's a tad jealous?
The funniest thing I that I was just wantching a show on pay TV called "little Angels" about rotten children (similar to Super Nanny). The child expert made it clear that you never, ever, ever reward bad behaviour. Guess what you did with your plant and card. You meant it as a gift, but to me it looked like areward for her disgusting behaviour against you.
This is the BIGGEST example of a clear cut path ready to be walked apon. She has opened up a new world for you again. Aren't you excited?
Your gym shoes must be so happy *wink*
I would love to see a pic of that plant, though. It sounds beautiful, and you are a beautiful person for thinking of her (even if she doesn't deserve it).
Karma will get her - you may not ever see evidence of it, but it will.