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Not a tremendous improvement...

Hello!

I know. I have to stop disappearing for such long periods. I am surprised anyone is still checking for updates. Anyone delete me off their blogroll yet? *wink*

On March 29th mr. ralph and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary. Sometime during that week we both came down with a cold. Also, I haven't been the best wife either. We won't be talking about this today. Even though he had every right to not want to celebrate, he planned an overnight stay in the Barossa.

We went over there on Saturday afternoon and settled into a hotel room. We had a lovely dinner and a bottle of wine. We then had baths and a lovely night. It was very nice. We haven't had nights like that in a long time. It was good. It was a beginning.

The following day we went to a few wineries and bought several bottles, all of which we really couldn't afford. We tried and bought a bottle of Chocolate port! It is yummy. We ate meat pies for lunch (my favorite Aussie meal!) and we then journeyed home for dinner the the mum-in-laws.

Sometime the next day mr. ralph read a diary entry I had written, it was more of a letter. You know the kind you write but never send? I of course was devastated that he read it. I lost more ground and more trust. Back at square one, maybe even further away from square anything.

I am still sick although possibly on the mend. I cough all night long and I sound horrible. I found out I also have a UTI. Fun Fun Fun stuff.

My doctor switched me to a new anti-depressant, Lexapr0. We hope that this will stop the weight gain, if in fact it was Pr0zac that caused it. So far I haven't been that hungry, but I am still feeling down. This could be because the decisions I have been making lately are making me sad.

There is no one in the world better than mr. ralph. I believe this with all my heart. Does anyone in a relationship ever feel like they just don't deserve the love they are given?

A thought just came to me. Love sometimes is more of a decision than a feeling. It is something you work on when times are tough. I love mr. ralph immensely. I know that he loves me too and right now he is putting up with my horrible state of mind. He is an angel. He deserves a gold medal.

Oh and I have no idea what I weigh.

Comments

The Candid Bandit said…
I hear you. Loud and clear.
10:23 pm
Wenchy said…
I really loved this entry.

Happy anniversary
5:07 am
Lynda said…
Yes, as Beckie said - we hear you loud and clear! I too have a man like you Mr Ralph and he puts up with far more than he should with my moods and other stuff. Still he loves me and I love him. I think you are right that loving someone is a decision you make.
7:44 pm
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