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I don't know where to begin. I didn't even want to post. My instinct tells me that because I don't want to, it may be the best thing to do.

I haven't weighed myself, but I've had a few very bad days.

I went out on Friday night and drank an unknown amount of gin and tonics and then I ate almost a whole bag of kettle chips yesterday.

I put on a pair of my size 12 jeans that should fit and are too tight last night.

Damnit!

I have a lot of cute clothes that I cant go anywhere near because of about 3 kilos. This 3 kilos is doing a lot to depress me right now.

I stopped tracking my calories because I don't even know how much alcohol I consumed on Friday night and who wants to know how many calories and fat are in an entire bag of chips?

Not only do I feel like shit, but I can't seem to motivate myself either.

I know that the way I am feeling is not new and I will work through it, but right now it feels pretty much like a death sentence.

It is not that I don't know what to do to lose weight. Of course I do. I think that there is a lot more going on inside of me than that. I must be in this self-sabotage mode for a reason. I just can't seem to figure out why.

Now that the season is changing I am freaking out because it will be time to break out all the winter clothes. I am scared of what I will find that won't fit me. At the moment it is about clothes.

I have a horrible headache that I have had since yesterday morning. This is keeping me from wanting to exercise.

Comments

Valerie said…
Michele sent me today. Good luck on getting your motivation back, you can do it!
9:47 am
Anonymous said…
If it's any consolation, you have great hair! (really)
10:13 am
theaddict said…
Thanks for the compliment. I just had the foils redone before this shot (yesterday).
10:19 am
carmilevy said…
I think we all have rough patches when we're trying to keep ourselves on track. It's perfectly OK to want to toss it all away out of frustration.

But the fact that you write so eloquently about your difficulty speaks volumes about how much you want to stay focused. I have no doubt that this is but a temporary blip, and you'll soon be regaling us all with happier words.

We're all behind you.
11:06 am
Heather Jane said…
Hiya :)

I just stumbled onto your blog, from where ? Well that I can't tell you, because I am not even sure - eek!!
Anyway, this place is cute, the set-up is cute, the pics are cute and you are bloody cute, so what's the matter for you eh?

So the reason I am commenting here is that i read a different perspective to dieting the other day - and no it is not another one of those schpiels " Eat more veggies and excercise!" because you are probably doing that like crazy as am I. But this article was from a health clinic in my area that specializes in natural medicines and the like. I am not really in the know about this kind of thing, nor do i diet and that isn't because I don't need to ( LORD do I ever!) but because honestly I really cannot be bothered and this whole dieting culture business really gets under my skin.

Anyway it talks about why you SHOULD NOT diet ( yeah you read that right.) and why dieters plateau after losing some weight and why they start gaining again even though they eat significantly less calories.
So let me know if you want to read it. Remember, I have nothing to do with this clinic, I am not endorsing it - I only read it the other day and thought to myself " I wonder if others know about this."

So holler at me if you want to know.
In the meantime, is it alright if I stick around and watch the progress you make as an inspiration for myself?

Ciao Bella!

Heather

p.s. Would you believe I have a kick-ass pool, hot tub and sauna in my building that I never use?? Yes I know, ridiculous. But this lemon gelato is divine... haha and I wonder why my jeans don't fit right!
1:14 pm
Anonymous said…
hey gorgeous girl!
you need a hug babe and i will be visiting in one month to give ya one! yay! are you up for it?

If u have read my site you will see that I am going through the same thing and I am positive that it is water retention. And u just had TOM so more than likely it is worse water retention than usual - makes you feel so bloated and ugly doesn't it? But in fact, you do look great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep your chin up and keep doing what you have been - one packet of chips and a few g and ts is nothing i bet compared to what you would have eaten "before". JUst get up the next day and start again babe.
5:14 pm
Morris said…
Just have some more sex, that should help burn off that unwanted fat!

Mr. Morris
Ask Morris
12:02 am
The Candid Bandit said…
*squish*

I had to giggle at Mr Morris' advice.

Sex. Nectar of the goddess. *wink*

I can't wait to see you next weekend.

Smile. Do it. Now. C'mon. Grin. From ear to ear.

Thats it! Now, I want to see that smile last til I get there!

xox
10:10 am
Lynda said…
Oh ms ralph... you are exactly where I was after nearly getting to my goal weight. I then "lost the plot" and regained 3 kilos like you and then over more time I ended up with 7 kilos back on. Talk about feeling miserable - I totally relate to what you are going through. All I can say is hang in there as much as you can because you will get back the drive you once had. In my case it was walking that helped kick that extra weight back off.

The main thing you must not do is gain any more... I know, easier said than done. :)
6:25 pm
Anonymous said…
cheer up love. wouldnt hurt to smile once in a while.
3:39 am
Wenchy said…
You are sounding very stressed... I hope you work through this and come out the other side flying!

I know you can do this.
7:28 am
Belladora said…
It's all about your mind taking control of your emotions...You CAN wake up tomorrow and 'just do it' as the Nike people say. Heck, you can just do it RIGHT NOW. We all go through these slumps and end up having to lose a bit more than we had originally planned, but there is nobody stopping you from getting right back on track besides YOU. You CAN do it! Even if you don't want to right now, you know that once you start you are going to feel awesome and you'll be so happy you did!

*hugs*
heather
1:19 am
Anonymous said…
ude, that's water weight. that's bloat. you drank a lot. don't even worry about that. i bloat BAD and really easy and things just don't fit at all. drink gibs of water and don't eat much so you can lose the bloat. couple days you'll be fine.
1:48 am
Shannin said…
I agree that some of the weight/bloat is coming from the alcohol and the salt from chips. Drink lots and lots of water to help flush it out. I know these 3 kilos are bugging you, but hang in there and kick them to the curb!
12:39 pm
Ms. Lori said…
You are absolutely ravishing. You look slim, healthy, and sexy, and you have the most adorable face. Try not to beat yourself up over a few off days -- you've done a wonderful thing for yourself by losing that weight, so don't forget to be proud!

One day soon, you will see yourself as others do, I'm sure of it.
2:14 pm
Denise said…
Try to remain calm and positive about yourself and the journey. I don't know the whole answer but I do know that negativity blocks the healing and other good stuff that you're looking for. Hang in there - you're doing just great!
8:17 am
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