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Broken

When I talk about my life it always seems like I come back to that word, cracked, broken, incomplete.. What does it mean to be broken? When I try to relate to other people I find it very difficult. I hide things about the way I think and feel because I know that they they will not understand or worse they may judge me. Lately I feel so isolated in my own thoughts. There is a real lonliness in that, especially since I am someone who yearns for openness.
Food does not judge me. When I eat I am comforted in a way that I am not by the people in my life.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Maybe you should start writing your thoughts down in a diary... I think ik helps to spill it all out (well, it helps me).
Don't find comfort in food, it will make you feel more miserable in the end.
Have you ever thought of some powerwalking? I realise it might sound stupid but a friend of mine used to do that for a half hour before she started her workday to list all the points. It helped her a lot (AND it was good for her figure :)

((hugg))
5:06 am
Denise said…
As someone who's been where you are, I really think you need to find someone professional to talk to about how you're feeling. Certainly writing your feelings down is helpful, but a therapist will give you ideas about how to feel better and that's what you need, my dear.
4:28 am
Belladora said…
I understand where you are coming from.

I still look forward to seeing you post. I check in almost everyday:)
3:27 am
...jus me said…
I thoroughly understand! I feel the same way from time to time. If you want to do a diary but have no one read it...do a new blog that is password protected and just don't give anyone the password. Do it for you! One nice thing about this is no one will be judging you and unlike food, it will not harm you. Another nice thing is...you can go back and read from the beginning whenever you want and a funny thing happens when you do that...you realize that you are growing and don't feel that way anymore. Good luck on whatever you decide to do. I will be praying for you!
8:22 am
Anonymous said…
I'm so glad to see you're back here blogging... please don't go. I can totally understand the feeling of being broken. I fight with that feeling myself, a lot.

I'd do what jus me recommends - write your feelings down. In a diary, online (password protected), start another anonymous blog and write it down.

Maybe seeing someone might help - who's trained to help people with these sorts of feelings. I know it really helped me.

*hugs*
3:26 am
Anonymous said…
Grrr...
I stopped reading your blog just after you started seeing the therapist. I thought that this time when I check back in, things would be different. Apparently not!
I've read the comments from your friends & there seems to be a theme... Take positive steps to move forward!!
The power of the mind to heal the body is beyond belief.
Please try. I'll check back with you soon
10:59 am
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