Skip to main content

More on The Red Shoes

I still haven't finished that section. I blame it on seeing myself in the story.

The explanation of what happens to her and her desire for the shoes is similar to something I am experiencing now.

The writer describes it as somewhat of a famine in her life. She was psychologically starving. Having something you need be missing from your life for a significantly long time is very detrimental to the decisions you make.

I felt so fat yesterday. I had one of the worst self-image days I have had in a very long time. Everything contributed to it.

I wanted to wear a jacket that is now too tight, it doesn't matter that when I bought it last winter it barely fit and I knew a half a kilo more would make it too small...

I also felt every inch of my jeans pushing into my skin.

I hate my legs and arms. Sometimes I want to cut strips off of my body. I don't like telling people these things. I think they will look at me and think what a crazy person I am.

Does anyone else ever feel so disgusted about themselves?

Oh and I just want to add that the person who said I should make my own goals was absoluetly right. But the way other people feel about me helps me because I have such a distorted body image that I can see 100 kilos most of the time.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

All it takes is determination

I got my butt up this morning and did a 20-minute walk/jog, and it was still DARK outside. You proud of me?? Sure you are! I didn't do so well with my eating on the weekend, but this is not going to stand in my way. I know that in order to push through and lose more than what I've been averaging since Christmas (500-800 grams a week) I have got to stick to the Wendie Plan for the rest of this week and to my new lower points intake of 18 a day as well as exercise . I said the dreaded word, but it is true. I can do this. I have decided that there will be no excuses. I will apply to be this year's WW Slimmer of The Year. I can't let anything stand in my way. Thanks to all of you for getting behind me with this. Your support is so crucial because I am feeling high and on top of the world right now, but I know there will be days that I will feel like giving up the fight when I will start thinking it is just to hard and I know I will be going back and reading all your w...
24 comments
Read more

Weigh-in March 5th

I weighed in at 68.1, and was amazed to discover that I lost 800 grams this week. I've only got just over 5 kilos left to lose before I reach my goal. Like WOW. I mean wow. I am pinching myself. Can you believe this? A weight loss 2 weeks in a row?!?! I mean jeez, imagine what I could do if I got my butt up off the couch and started exercising. I think I owe it all to the Wendie Plan, which by the way I told all my fellow weight watcher' members about today. I tried to tell them anyway, but I couldn't say a whole lot because our leader likes to hog all the air time. It is weird. I've never felt so shut down in a place where we should all be sharing our ideas with each other. Isn't it a support group, not a one-woman-show? Plus she is boring and only talks about the same thing over and over again. I've heard enough about low GI foods, exercising, how her daughter is a dancer, and how good it is to eat protein for breakfast. I would try out a different ...
9 comments
Read more

Starting over

Hmm. Starting over is never easy. I'm on a new journey this time. I want to do this for different reasons. I want to do it for me. This week has been an okay one food wise, but I haven't been walking. I have had to suffer rain, but we needed it so it is hard to be mad about it. I know I may have lost a tiny bit of weight, but probably not much. Will weigh myself tomorrow. I had a few too many drinks still. BUT I swear I am trying! It is hard right now. I want to go to the doctor and request some weight-loss drugs. I don't think my doctor will give me them, and I know it is a weak way out, but I want the help. So don't judge me! Thanks so much for the support lately. Even the few of you who still check to see if I am around, your words mean a lot to me.
16 comments
Read more