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No better time than right now

There is no better time than now to stop stuffing my face with hot chips. I am sick of looking at all the clothes that don't fit me. It is seriously depressing. I was wondering what I should do with all the size 10's that are lingering around taunting me. I have decided that I will keep them for now because if start doing something about this and stop crying about it, they may fit me again by March or April.

Did you know that I weigh what I did two years ago? Maybe I have already mentioned that?

I ate so much on Christmas day that I felt like I had put on a dress size, I fully expected my new size 12 shorts I got from Suzanne to not fit me anymore, but they did thankfully still fit.

I am very sad with the state of my body. The past 3 days I have been doing absolutely nothing expect eating, drinking, and being LAZY.

The last 6 months I have been so focused on other bullshit that I have let everything get out of control.

I console myself with the knowledge that I am around 30 kilos away from my heaviest weight (a considerably safe distance) and that most dieters put all their weight back on and more within 2 years of losing it.

I know that 2006 was a very, VERY, bad year for me personally. Over the last few months I have especially leant on food and alcohol to soothe me. I need to stop beating myself up about it. I've done it. I am here now and I can't go backwards.

I can't undo all the bad that I have done to myself. I can't make better choices personally and emotionally. But what I can do is change today, and tomorrow. Sulking and navel gazing never did anyone any good. It is definitely not going to change the shape of my thighs or my bum.

I haven't decided yet if I will go back on Weight Watchers or if I will just follow a sensible plan of my own from what I know is good for me. But January is going to be different. I am focused. I know that I can do this, it will be challenging because I still have the emotional garbage to deal with, but I know that I will feel better if I eat healthy.

Comments

Anonymous said…
ARGH! I hate it when that happens.

Merry Christmas!

Vanessa
Bel said…
You can do it! Keep your head held high and you will be back in those 10's before you know it!
Anonymous said…
good for you! Your post is motivational!

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