It is finally over

I am so thankful that this year is over.

I need to use the new year as a way to get out this murky water. I feel like I have been drowning, swallowing heaping barrels of mud.... and it all started in March 2006.

Sometimes one decision can change your life, this time it was for the worst. I hope to get past this, and once again I must turn to writing for guidance, comfort, insight, and clarity (hopefully).

See you next year!

Comments

Anonymous said…

yeah baby! we'll be here to listen. take care and a happy new year to you.

1:17 am

Anonymous said…

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:48 pm

Life happens

I wish I could tell you guys that everything is on track and that the reason I have not been writing is because life has just been too good. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Winter is generally a crap time of year for me. I thought that this one I could get a handle on it and not have it get the best of me. I was wrong. Exercise? Who me? Eat healthy? Um no. Last night I wanted chips so mr. ralph went out at midnight and got us chips and dip and we sat in our pj's watching the England and Portugal quarter final stuffing our faces. Am I painting a pretty picture? For the most part I eat well. I do. I do not stock my house with these kinds of foods. I have learned that because I am an emotional eater, it is better if I don't. But mr. ralph is too easy. Where I won't go out and buy something at midnight, if I ask him too he will go for me. Yes, I do believe we are in a co-dependent relationship, even where food is concerned. We both eat when we feel emotional....

A trip down memory lane

Hello to all of you all of you coming via Michele , thanks for stopping by and I only hope it was worth the trip over. I began reading through the questions on the Slimmer of The Year application today. Of course there are so many things I want to include, but I can't possibly write everything I want to or they will be getting a novel. When I started thinking of how long I have been overweight and the reasons I struggled for so long with food and weight issues a lot of memories came back to me. I've been challanged by my weight for most of my life. Granted some of that time I only thought I was fat when I really wasn't. The point is that I have been fat inside my head for as long as I can remember. One of the most shameful and embarrassing moments was when I was 15 and some of the boys in my class thought it was funny to sing "thunder, thunder, thunder thighs hooooooo!" when they saw me coming to the tune of the cartoon "Thunder Cats." That experie...

It began like this...

I saw a photograph of myself that was VERY disgusting and taken only last week. I had to stop and pause. Then I cried. Admittedly the position I was in and the clothes I was wearing were not very forgiving, but I was shocked. This is how I look? What a way to begin 2007! Last night I drank a lot, but I remember everything (so not that drunk). I made French Martinis! They were delicious, but made with chambord, vodka, and pineapple juice. Talk about heavy sugar intake! For lunch it was bbq sausages and for late night snacking, party pies! Yes, disgusting indeed. And today, for breakfast/lunch we had leftover sausages! This week I have got to detox, purge the junk out of my life (emotionally and physically). I need to find myself again. I am not happy. I think I am on the bottom of the pit. It is dark down here, but somewhere up above I see a light.

livingforrecovery

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