"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand." Henri Nouwen
I mean no offense to anyone with this statement because I know not everyone has a belief in a higher power, but I want to believe more than anything that God will give me nothing that he doesn't believe that I can handle.
On Saturday the 20th of June I was walking, I was not 15 minutes from my destination and listening to my ipod. It was around 6:45am and the stars were still out. I must have been thinking about the music or where I was going. I was in a pleasant mood, looking forward to my weekend. I had to stop at Wakefield street to wait for the pedestrian green light to let me cross, and shortly after starting to cross the street a car turned onto the street, not looking, and hit me.
The only thing I remember is seeing a car, the image of the car just flashes and next I was being asked questions by the emergency staff of the hospital. I don't really even remember much about the ride to the hospital, it is really all a blur.
Luckily I'm at home now, I only had to spend 3 days in hospital, although thinking back I could have probably used a few more days there.
Turns out the guy who hit me is actually a doctor. He wasn't speeding or drinking and will probably plead guilty to failing to give way to a pedestrian. The penalties he face seem like nothing compared to the agony I am in at the moment.
Right now I'm on the couch at Ashley's house watching tv. The pain medicine that I took this morning has completely worn off and I can feel pain from numerous parts of my body.
I don't like that I have to take pain medicine but even on the stuff I feel excruciating pain. The injuries that I have are not fatal and I will heal but they are affecting me in dangerous ways.
Mostly I am sad and worried. I had a minor concussion which resulted in bleeding on my brain. From what the doctors have told me and what I have experienced this week, this is a pretty serious thing. I've had difficulty concentrating and also experience short term memory loss.. It is most noticeable when I forget something that happened on the beginning of a tv show when it is near the end or when I am trying to recall conversations.
I also have an increased irritability that has worried me. I don't really know to what extent that will last, they say it may be permanent.
I don't have much choice in this, I can't put too much stress on myself because when I have done too much I end up experiencing more pain.
I find it hard to sleep a whole night through because the injuries to my body force me to lie on my back which is something I never do when sleeping. But the moment I try to turn the pain is excruciating. Although I have no broken bones my muscles have been severely bruised and I may have some torn ligaments in both my knees.
I don't feel the same inside my head and that is the one thing that is the most difficult to explain to someone. Not everyone knows what it feels like to have been hit by a car and the pain of that, but pain is something most people understand. I worry that I may never be the same again inside and that scares me more than the pain.
I haven't got all the answers but the only way I know to get through this is to take it day by day. I don't know what I would do without Ashley because he has taken such good care of me from the moment the hospital called him. I can't even stay at my flat because I can't walk up and down the stairs.
I've been told it will take 4 to 6 weeks for my brain to recover alone, no one has even attempted to tell me about the rest of my body. I obviously hate not knowing but what I do know is I could have died, I could have been in a full body cast right now and I've not had to endure that.
And maybe, just maybe I can deal with this, because I'm still here.
I mean no offense to anyone with this statement because I know not everyone has a belief in a higher power, but I want to believe more than anything that God will give me nothing that he doesn't believe that I can handle.
On Saturday the 20th of June I was walking, I was not 15 minutes from my destination and listening to my ipod. It was around 6:45am and the stars were still out. I must have been thinking about the music or where I was going. I was in a pleasant mood, looking forward to my weekend. I had to stop at Wakefield street to wait for the pedestrian green light to let me cross, and shortly after starting to cross the street a car turned onto the street, not looking, and hit me.
The only thing I remember is seeing a car, the image of the car just flashes and next I was being asked questions by the emergency staff of the hospital. I don't really even remember much about the ride to the hospital, it is really all a blur.
Luckily I'm at home now, I only had to spend 3 days in hospital, although thinking back I could have probably used a few more days there.
Turns out the guy who hit me is actually a doctor. He wasn't speeding or drinking and will probably plead guilty to failing to give way to a pedestrian. The penalties he face seem like nothing compared to the agony I am in at the moment.
Right now I'm on the couch at Ashley's house watching tv. The pain medicine that I took this morning has completely worn off and I can feel pain from numerous parts of my body.
I don't like that I have to take pain medicine but even on the stuff I feel excruciating pain. The injuries that I have are not fatal and I will heal but they are affecting me in dangerous ways.
Mostly I am sad and worried. I had a minor concussion which resulted in bleeding on my brain. From what the doctors have told me and what I have experienced this week, this is a pretty serious thing. I've had difficulty concentrating and also experience short term memory loss.. It is most noticeable when I forget something that happened on the beginning of a tv show when it is near the end or when I am trying to recall conversations.
I also have an increased irritability that has worried me. I don't really know to what extent that will last, they say it may be permanent.
I don't have much choice in this, I can't put too much stress on myself because when I have done too much I end up experiencing more pain.
I find it hard to sleep a whole night through because the injuries to my body force me to lie on my back which is something I never do when sleeping. But the moment I try to turn the pain is excruciating. Although I have no broken bones my muscles have been severely bruised and I may have some torn ligaments in both my knees.
I don't feel the same inside my head and that is the one thing that is the most difficult to explain to someone. Not everyone knows what it feels like to have been hit by a car and the pain of that, but pain is something most people understand. I worry that I may never be the same again inside and that scares me more than the pain.
I haven't got all the answers but the only way I know to get through this is to take it day by day. I don't know what I would do without Ashley because he has taken such good care of me from the moment the hospital called him. I can't even stay at my flat because I can't walk up and down the stairs.
I've been told it will take 4 to 6 weeks for my brain to recover alone, no one has even attempted to tell me about the rest of my body. I obviously hate not knowing but what I do know is I could have died, I could have been in a full body cast right now and I've not had to endure that.
And maybe, just maybe I can deal with this, because I'm still here.
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