Skip to main content

Watch This Space........

I weighed myself today.

Fuck.

This is very bad. I had no idea? How could I not know that I had gained so much? I am ashamed. I don't even want you to know how much.

I wish I could say that I am motivated to change and feel excited about it, but I just feel like my lungs are filling up with water and I cannot breathe.

I have not gained all of it back, that is something at least. But I have to start over again. I can't believe I once weighed 67 kilos.

Comments

Greta said…
I TOTALLY understand how you feel. I REALLY do. When I gained my weight, I gained all 50 pounds of it in a 5 month period. It came on so fast I KNEW it was bad but I still would not get on the scale. And even though I finally did (get on the scale) it did not motivate me at all. If anything it pushed me farther over the edge. I wish I had some great words of wisdom for you....it just has to be the right time for you. You'll just know, ok its time for me to get healthy. You can't force yourself to a place you aren't at. You'll get there. I can't say I KNOW you but I've read your blog enough over the past few years to know you will get there. Good luck!!

Popular posts from this blog

Starting over

Hmm. Starting over is never easy. I'm on a new journey this time. I want to do this for different reasons. I want to do it for me. This week has been an okay one food wise, but I haven't been walking. I have had to suffer rain, but we needed it so it is hard to be mad about it. I know I may have lost a tiny bit of weight, but probably not much. Will weigh myself tomorrow. I had a few too many drinks still. BUT I swear I am trying! It is hard right now. I want to go to the doctor and request some weight-loss drugs. I don't think my doctor will give me them, and I know it is a weak way out, but I want the help. So don't judge me! Thanks so much for the support lately. Even the few of you who still check to see if I am around, your words mean a lot to me.

Do you want what you can't have?

On the way home from work I saw a girl with the figure I want, but will never have. She was young; I think probably around 16 or 17. She was tall with lean legs and she was wearing a pair of trendy short shorts with a t-shirt. She also had amazingly perfect large breasts. I admittedly stared for a moment at her because she didn't have one single blemish. She is so beautiful. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about how I will never be that thin, I will probably never wear short shorts, and I definitely will never have those boobs. I wish I didn't look longingly at the things other people have and envy them, but I do. But I don't think I am the only one.

Tweaking

So I've done some tweaking to the code. I now think it looks better in Firefox than IE because IE is not recognising the best font. It is too late right now for me to concern myself with this. At least most of us can actually read it. Also I have to create a new weight chart that is compatible with this design. Thanks a lot for the input. Firefox users, is it better now?