livingforrecovery

What a fabulous day Saturday was. Meeting Beck of course was the hightlight! She is incredible and so full of energy! We had coffee and talked and talked and talked. It was so good for me. She also gave me a box full of goodies as a b-day pressie. I was really touched. I wish I could keep her here! And Bradman! He is so adorable, you just want to squeeze him. It is hard to put into words, but Beck is a truly inspiring woman. I couldn't ask for a better friend to share this journey with, and I know that she will kick my arse into gear if I ever need it. We went into Sparkles and there was this Merilyn Monroe style dress hanging on the wall that I thought looked hot so we asked if they had any others for me to try on. All they had was one other dress and it was a small. I said, "there is no way that is fitting me!" And the girl and Beck both said, "Go try it on!" It fit. Beck took a photo. We'll have to wait for her entry to see it. I looked rea...

Dear Blog, I've been avoiding you. I'm sorry. I told myself I wouldn't stop writing when things were not going well the way that other people do, but I haven't held up to my end of the bargain. I wish I could say that I have lost weight and am doing wonderful, but I can't. I'm having drinks to celebrate my 31st birthday tonight. (b-day is on Tuesday) I think I weigh more than I did on my 30th birthday. Just in case you are wondering, it is 71 kilos. Remember how I said I wouldn't let myself get into the 70's again? Well I keep losing and then gaining back the same kilo. Beck is going to be in Adelaide and I get to meet her. I've been wanting to meet her for a long time. We missed each other last year when I was in Melbourne. I am hoping that some of her positive energy she's got going on right now will rub off on me. I definitely need a pep talk and if there is anyone to give it, she's it. She is amazing. Will let you know how it g...

I don't know where to begin. I didn't even want to post. My instinct tells me that because I don't want to, it may be the best thing to do. I haven't weighed myself, but I've had a few very bad days. I went out on Friday night and drank an unknown amount of gin and tonics and then I ate almost a whole bag of kettle chips yesterday. I put on a pair of my size 12 jeans that should fit and are too tight last night. Damnit! I have a lot of cute clothes that I cant go anywhere near because of about 3 kilos. This 3 kilos is doing a lot to depress me right now. I stopped tracking my calories because I don't even know how much alcohol I consumed on Friday night and who wants to know how many calories and fat are in an entire bag of chips? Not only do I feel like shit, but I can't seem to motivate myself either. I know that the way I am feeling is not new and I will work through it, but right now it feels pretty much like a death sentence. It is not that I don...

This has been a week! With a lovely Valentine's dinner out (menu to come later) and the TOM, there will be no weigh-in today. I know we are all bitterly disappointed. But I made the decision to stay away from the scale because last night I was literally doubled over in cramps. My body chemistry can't be very normal at the moment. I think I will weigh myself in a few days, or I may just wait until next Friday. We shall see. I've also decided that I think I need to try to say on the lower end of my calorie intake. Spark People says I can have between 1200-1500 a day, but I believe I need to stay very close to 1200. Elliot (the kitten) is utterly adorable, but she loves to bite. I don't know if this is just a phase or what. I don't remember Buckley being so full of bitey goodness. She is growing on Buckley though and I have seen him licking her and he plays with her but not very rough. It is sweet.

I didn't lose any weight this week. On average I walked at least 45-90 minutes a day, and I stayed under 1500 calories on every single day except one. This is bullshit I tell you. Mr. ralph had me convinced I had built up muscles in my legs and this was the reason no movement is happening on the scale. I almost believed him until I tried on these jeans that did fit me when I weighed 68 kilos. I could button them up, but just barely and there was the overhang of flesh. The pot belly so to speak. I am so frustrated. For the past two weeks I have walked and walked, and walked some more. I have logged on to the net every day and recorded my food intake. I have been very diligent. I expected results! Okay so I didn't eat like a rabbit everyday. I did indulge in cake at work on someone's 10 year anniversary, I did have carrot cake on the weekend with my mum-in-law. I did eat a small block of chocolate ... but all of this food was accounted for. So maybe I just need to eat...

My new weigh-in days are Friday mornings. This was mr. ralph's idea. I guess it will give me incentive to be better on the weekends than I have been in the past. I now weigh 70.4 kilos, this is a loss of 600 grams! It is not a lot, but I'll take anything at this point! I guess the walking is doing something! I've been keeping my food journal at spark people and I find it absolutely terrifying how much I eat on certain days. I've also noticed that the days that I am the hungriest are the days that I eat a lot of carbs like bread etc. I bought this fantastic magazine on Friday with lots of meal ideas. It is the Woman's Day Diet Extra and it is seriously a great buy. It has lots of low-fat recipes and gives you examples of a lot of popular diets out there like low GI etc. I also have new shoes. I bought some Nikes, the most inexpensive ones I could find (we don't have a lot of extra cash atm.) and it turns out they are super comfy. I'm still walking ...