livingforrecovery

Welcome to my hell. I've discovered quite depressingly that I've managed to gain 2 extra kilos on top of the 1 previously gained adding my current weight total to 67.7, and I have finally updated the side bar to reflect this. It was hard accepting that I now have 5 kilos to lose again and I've put on 3 since winter began. The Weight Watchers meeting was encouraging, but I can't say I'm proud of the things that encouraged me. The leader seems to have put on heaps of weight and I know by admitting this I am going to loose some friends, but it actually made me feel better to know that I'm not the only one suffering through these winter months. We spent the entire meeting talking about exercise. My favorite exercise was brought up as an alternative for winter because it is easy to do at home no matter what time of the day, skipping. I love skipping, but I've begun to wonder if skipping is the reason for my recent return of pain. The doctor cleared me for ...

I am having a dilemma right now about the pain I am having in my neck/shoulders. It is worse than it was the last time I had an episode, but it hasn't caused any numbness in my arms, which is a very GOOD thing. The problem is, do I phone my spinal surgeon and tell him about it, or do I just continue managing it at home until it subsides or gets worse? I've been managing okay so far, and I haven't had to miss any work, which is good because Worker's Compensation have issued a discontinuance because I've been pretty much cleared for work now. But it doesn't mean that if I have something happens to cause a need for future time off work they won't reconsider opening my case. I don't even want to think about going backwards with this thing, but when you are in pain, these are the things you think about. I know as well that the pain could just be normal. Quite often these things get inflamed for no good reason and I have to live with it. But it worries m...

After all that talk about feeling good inside my skin and finally feeling thin, I ended up having an emotional eating weekend. I know I shouldn't have put off attending WW for another week, because if I had gone I would have been grounded with my new plan. Instead I just threw convention to the wind and ate too much. I think I must enjoy feeling guilty. There really is something to that. Sometimes I stop and think to myself, "Why are you doing this?" The fact that I am aware at all is good, but to be so self-depreciating feels awful. Knowing how much I sabotage myself makes me feel like I really am crazy. The past two days have been good ones, although we are eating out tonight. I plan to order a salad and not touch the bread. The place we are going to is not one for having healthy meals but for some reason all of mr. ralph's co-workers who leave always choose this place. It stinks, but I really don't have a choice. I could not eat, but then I'd be s...

I'm a little late with this one, sorry Argy , but I finally remembered I was tagged while I was away. So here it goes: Three names I go by: Bec, Rebecca and Becca Three screen names I've had: Rebeka, Rbk, and Mari Three physical things I like about myself: My eyes, My toes, and my mouth Three physical things I don't like about myself: My legs, My bum, and my upper arms Three parts of my heritage: huh? I am part French, Irish, and mutt? Three things I am wearing right now: Butterfly t-shirt, panties, and toenail polish Three favorite bands/musical artists : Sarah McLachlan, Nirvana, Sting (a real mixture, not easy to pick) Three favorite songs: Magic Carpet Ride, Pieces of You, and Building a Mystery (so hard to pick 3) Three things I want in a relationship: Patience, Understanding, Love Two truths and a lie: (you pick the lie) I can use my toes like fingers, I have one brother and one sister, and my favourite food is chocolate Three physical things about the pref...

Yes I know my title is also a cheesy country and western song. But if it fits, it fits. I've missed you guys. I really have. I've come back and let another entire week lapse without writing an entry, and the only reason I've got is that I'm simply uninterested in diet related thoughts. Go figure. I have been reading your blogs though, and I've noticed a huge decline out there in my side of the blogosphere. I think that winter has put a damper on things. I didn't do so bad with my eating in Melbourne; even though we ate the occasional fatty meal and had a few drinks, all the walking I did would have fully compensated for those things. Even so, when I got back I was terrified of the scale. I avoided it like the plague until finally curiosity got the best of me yesterday morning. The results? 66 Kilos. Well it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be, in fact if I remember correctly I was already up to 66 kilos before we left on the trip. I don...

I am having a great time in Melbourne, although on Tuesday I awoke with a sneeze and a sore throat. I soon discovered that I have now contracted the Victorian strain of what I only had a few weeks ago at home. Oh well, life does go on. There is so much to say, but as I am paying by the half hour today, I won't go into it all. What I've most enjoyed about Melbourne is walking around and going into shops/cafe's that aren't mainstream. I love the grungy ambiance of a lot of it and really enjoy the time I spend by myself just looking around. I'd enjoy this a lot more if it weren't so damn cold and rainy, but Winter cannot be avoided. I've been doing a crap load of walking and on Tuesday I did a lot of swimming at the St. Kilda Salt Baths. It was a great time! Tomorrow I am using mr. ralph's free swimming pass the university gave him. I probably won't update again until I am at home. Enjoy your weekend.

This is just a quick update to let everyone know that I'm doing well and having fun in Melbourne. Sunday was absolutely gorgeous with some sunshine, but the skies are very grey today unfortunately, and it looks like there will be more rain tomorrow. Thankfully I will be at the St. Kilda Sea Baths for the better of the day. How has my eating been? Well, I'm so glad you asked! I've actually been really good for about 80% of the time, what has been really killing me is the wine, cheese, and pate. Mr. ralph's friend is a big red wine drinker and he offers me glass after glass every night. I keep reminding myself that I am on holidays, but I also don't want to go up a pants size either. It is so easy to just fall back into bad eating habits, but I really want to be good. I am still trying hard to eat veggies and salads at every possible meal time. Of course I have not been anywhere near a scale so I have no idea what the current damage is, in a way I'm glad for ...

Hello! Today is packing day. Something weird is going on with my blog, because I redesigned yesterday and noticed that the current entry [which was Monday] had no comments, and then I noticed you couldn't comment on it because blogger would pop up with an error message when you did try... plus when I republished with the new design Monday's entry disappeared. Poof. Gone. Just like that. Oh well, it was really just another post where I bitched about how I'm not myself lately. I bet you're getting sick of those entries. I have to apologise. I hope that when I come back from Melbourne I will be different. And at the very least I hope that I control myself and eat lots of veggie soups and salads instead of pizza and chips. So far only 1 person that lives in Melbourne wants to meet me. :( It is okay it really is, we're going off to a sea salt spa place in St. Kilda. That morning I think I will spend shopping in St. Kilda. Last night mr. ralph and I checked ou...

That is me, making a very unhappy sound. So I didn't go to my weight watchers meeting today either. Yes, mr. ralph had something else to do and couldn't take me, but I could have walked, or mrs. ralph (the other one) would have been happy to drive me. But something inside of me didn't want to see the results on that scale, and have the # recorded. Although it was good that for the 2nd half of the week my mindset was back on track, and I was exercising everyday, I still am at least 1.5 kilos above my last weight recorded at WW. Now this makes 2 weeks in a row that I haven't attended. Unless I find a meeting to go to in Melbourne, it will be another 2 weeks before I can go back. They will probably make me rejoin at that time because the amount of meetings I've missed will cost more than the rejoining fee. I'm not sure what I will do. Maybe I will go to a Melbourne meeting. That could be fun. Do any of you go to WW in Melbourne? Now I haven't updated t...

Because I haven't really been here posting much, I think I forgot to mention that today begins my 2 week Holidays! I have a few days of doing whatever I want. I have decided I will make sure that I get at least 30 minutes of exercise in every single day that I am here too, just for my inner-peace. I know that it will help relieve stress, if nothing else to get myself out of the house when the sun is still shining (if it shines?). Then on Wed night we are off to wonderful, albeit cold, Melbourne! Yes that is right! Mr. ralph is giving a paper at a conference so we are staying in Melbourne for 9 days. This is a call to all of my readers that live in or near Melbourne. Please write to me if you would like to meet up with me for a face to face chat! We could have a coffee or go shopping, or even exercise! I have a lot of free time to do whatever I like! So please email me today so we can organize something! Oi, forgot to mention the dates. I will be there from the Thursday t...